Comfort
by Sparkle27
Summary: AU.A troubled Buffy Summers moves to Sunnydale,laden with problems.Will Angel be able to help her move on?Buffy/Angel.Please review! Chapter 13 has been added!
1. Chapters 1&2

**Buffy Summers was 16 years old. She lived in LA, California, and attended Hemery High School. She was a popular girl- beautiful and smart( although the beautiful part probably had more to do with her popularity, rather than her intelligence). She was interesting, and lively- a typical American teenager…or more fittingly, a typical American Cheerleader. Her life wasn't exactly perfect, with low grades in certain lessons (like History) and the constant awareness that her parents marriage wasn't entirely stable, but other than that, Buffy was a happy girl.**

**Of all of her friends, her cousin Celia was closest to her. Celia was older by a few months. Their close age allowed them to bond easily. Also, Celia was very similar to Buffy, lively and popular, and over the years, the two of them had been through a lot together-family problems, boy problems, school problems…their friendship was steady, and they had already made plans to share a room at University, if possible. The two girls never had a dull time together.**

**Then one evening, the event that would change their families lives forever took place. Celia's parents were out for the evening and they decided to take advantage of this, and the fact that Celia had just gotten her permit. They decided to drive to a party in the Valley, but in the end, they never made it. Celia had just pulled up at a junction when a huge lorry had pulled out in front of them, causing the small car to swerve and flip over.**

**It had taken Buffy three weeks to emerge from her coma, battered, bruised and broken. When she was told that her cousin had died in the crash, she didn't eat, sleep or speak for another three.**

**In the midst of everything, her parents had decided to get a divorce, after months of whispered arguments. She might have seen it coming, but it didn't make Buffy feel any better. As if things couldn't get any worse, her mother broke the news to her that they were moving from LA to a small town called Sunnydale. She knew that she would miss Celia even more if she couldn't visit her grave every night, as she had got used to doing. She was too tired to argue; it didn't seem fair to put even more unnecessary pressure on her poor mother.**

**A few months later, they arrived at the new house. Buffy spent the first day sat on the sidewalk silently , lost in thought as the delivery men carried their furniture in. She had no idea how close she was to change- no idea that just across the road in the opposite house, there was a boy who was about to see her for the very first time.**

For once in his life,Angelus was actually early. Maybe it was Cordelia's constant nagging that had caused it or it was just a trick of fate,but he was on time as he got dressed that morning,preparing for a day out with his girlfriend.

He wasn't going to be and Cordelia were going to see the latest 3-hour chick flick beforegoing out with a gang of hadn't slept well last night and now this?

Oh well,he thought.I can always go to sleep during the film.

Feeling slightly more cheerful,he checked his appearance before grabbing his keys from the countertop and swinging through the front door,only to stop mid-strided and stare at what he had just seen.

Sitting on the sidewalk on the other side of the road was the most beautiful girl he had ever sat, engrossed in staring at the ground, her honeyblonde curls tousled and falling over her wore clothes that seemed just like the one's other girls from school wore. But she wasn't like them. Angel could tell.

When he snapped back to earth and realised how long he had been lost in the blonde beauty, he jumped into his car and drove to Cordelia's house in a was sitting, on the porch, waiting. When she saw him pull up, she stormed over to the car, flung her designer handbag onto the dashboard and slammed the door angrily.

"You're late," She spat as they set off. Angel found it easier than usual to drown out her sharp, bleating voice.

"ANGELUS!" She yelled ,startling him. The car swerved. He fumbled with the wheel in shock, trying to control his driving.

"What?" He demanded. She stared at him like he had grown another ear on his nose.

"You're LATE. You don't even apologise and yet then you think you can be RUDE to me? ME!"

This is how most of their dates went. He already knew that she would ignore him, he wouldn't care and then she would make him apologise. He didn't like it but he knew that if he tried to dump her she'd kill him. And he wasn't a coward -he could just put up with it .There were good sides too. Everyone said they looked great as a was half the reason that Cordelia dated him. His position at the top of the school had been secured before she dug her talons deep into his skin. He had always thought that he could put up with it.

His thoughts drifted back the girl this morning. For the rest of the ride, he thought about her. There was silence in the car as they pulled up in the parking lot at the cinema.

"Well?"

"Well,what?" He knew this was coming. Cordelia pursed her lips and waited.

"I'm waiting."

"I can see for?"

"For you to apologise."

"For?"He didn't usually demand a reason and he could tell from her face that she was shocked.

"For?For?"In a second,she was out of the car,storming away from car rolled after her,smoothly as she clattered along in her dangerously high heels.

"Cordy,""He sighed,slowly following her at about 3mph.

"What?"She yelled.

"I'm sorry!"He said flatly. She glared at him.

"Screw you Angelus. After everything I have done for you-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. Fed up of her whinging and the overall relationship, he swerved away and sped all the way home, leaving Cordelia coughing in a cloud of exhaust fumes.

The next day rolled around all too fast for Buffy. One second she was preparing for a night of no sleep and the next, seven hours of sitting, huddled in bed had passed. It was time to get ready for a day at her new school. She showered and pulled on jeans, a tank top and flipflops. Her hair fell, silky and glistening over her shoulders.

Her mother had made blueberry muffins but she wasn't hungry at all. She just wanted to get this over with.

A few minutes later, her mom pulled up in front of her new school, wished her luck and left for her new job at some gallery.

Sunnydale High. It was smaller than her last school but the bustling crowds of students were larger. Breathing deeply, she walked into the school, doubting whether or not she would last the day.

At least she made it to her first lesson. It was a new term so she spent an hour in homeroom, sitting next to a timid girl named Willow, who was really nice. They checked each others timetables and luckily shared classes so Buffy survived the rest of the day without getting lost. Willow was shy but sweet and although she wasn't as outgoing or sparky as some of her previous friends, Buffy liked her.

And unlike her past friends, she couldn't see Willow going off her because she wasn't "as cheerful as she used to be.""

After her first day at the new school she sat on the wall, waiting for her mother, who had insisted on picking her up. She was searching through her bag when she felt someone sitting beside her. She looked up to see possibly the cutest guy she had ever seen in her whole life. He had eyes like pools of melted chocolate and hair the same shade of gorgeous brown.

"Hey," She said. He smiled at her and her stomach fluttered.

"Angelus," He held out his hand.

"I'm Buffy." They shook hands, his skin warm against hers. It made her flesh tingle.

"You're new,right?" She nodded," Why'd you leave your old school?" He hadn't meant to ask something so personal and obviously she didn't want to answer. At that very moment, Buffy saw her mother pull up down the road.

"Sorry,my mom's here," She stood and tugged her bag over her shoulder. Angel cursed inwardly but forced a smile.

"Er, okay.I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning." She watched him for a few seconds and then a pretty smile crept onto her own face, before she walked over to her car.

Angel sat there in a daze for a few minutes. He had looked out for her all day ( whilst avoiding Cordelia) and he had almost given up hope of seeing her again. She looked so beautiful, the sun bringing out the gold in her long hair, her eyes hazel and glinting in the had been a hard job not to reach over and kiss her. Most girls would have died if Angelus had layed one on them but that would possibly scar Buffy for life, and it would scar him too, if Cordelia ever found out what he was feeling.


	2. Chapter 3

When Buffy got home, she went straight to her room. She didn't unpack the boxes of her stuff. She lay back on her bed and thought about the boy who had talked to her today. There was just something about him. _I mean, he asked why I'd moved to Sunnydale and I didn't even bite his head off_,she thought.And he was amazingly cute. And whatever his motives were, it felt kind of nice knowing that he'd be looking out for her at school tomorrow.

"So," Her mother asked while they were eating dinner, "How was you're first day?"

Buffy moved a potato silently around her plate,"It was okay I guess."

Her mother waited for her to offer more information. She didn't.

"Did you make any new friends?"

"I met a girl named Willow. She's showing me round. She's nice."

"And who was that boy you were sitting with when I came to pick you up?"

Buffy got the feeling that her mom had been dying to ask her that for ages.

"Just some guy."

It was lunch period at Sunnydale High and Willow had begged Buffy to brave the cafeteria with her.

" C'mon! I mean, the food is mostly diseased but you can sit with me and Xander !" She had asked and asked until Buffy had finally agreed. She sat on a round table with Willow and her friend Xander as they tried to eat.

" Er - tell me if this is stupid question but - what the hell is this?" Buffy pointed to the plate in front of her.

"It's mac and cheese," Xander grinned at her. He was a kind boy with a good sense of humour.

"I thought it was pudding, Buffy," Willow helped. Buffy pushed away her plate and took a drink from her can of Pepsi.

Suddenly the cafeteria doors swung open and with a strange feeling in her stomach, she saw Angel walk in. A tall, brunette girl stood up from a crowded table and walked over to him agrily.

"Oh man, here come the fireworks," groaned Xander, picking at his lunch as they watched.

When Angel walked into the cafeteria at lunch that day, he was hoping to see Buffy and dreading to see Cordy. He had avoided her since the little cinema outing but when he saw her stomping over, he knew he had to deal with this.

A slight hush set over the cafeteria as Cordelia Chase, Queen Bitch and Head Cheerleader folded her arms and glared at her boyfriend.

"I want my bag." She announced loudly.

"What bag?"

"My PRADA bag, that you drove off with!! That bag is limited edition, d'you know how much it cost??"

Angel pushed past her and went to sit down at their table next to his friends and Cordelia's bitchlets. Or cheerleaders.Whatever.

But the show wasn't over yet.

"You haven't even apologised for the way that you treated me!"

"I said sorry on Sunday." He snapped,pulling a can of Dr Pepper from his bag and opening it with a click. "And your exact response was,and I quote, 'Screw you.'"

There was a pause before she sighed and slid onto his lap and began whispering into his ear. His friends all rolled their eyes as the loud babbling was returned to the room.

Buffy had watched this display with a dull feeling in her gut but she scolded herself.

He never liked you like that! She told herself,He felt sorry for you! He's just a friend.

But still,she avoided him for the rest of the day. That night she skipped dinner and went straight to bed.

A few hours later, she woke up screaming, her mother at her side, tears falling down her face.

Just because Buffy Summers was starting all over again in a new town,didn't mean that the nightmares were going to stop.


	3. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_**Sorry sorry sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I lost interest for a while but the interest is back, my friends.**_

_**Review to make me very very happy- happiness= more chapters!!**_

_**Apologies for spelling errors.**_

She saw him again the next day, after 1st period. She was at her locker, chatting to Willow as she selected books she needed for next lesson, when she spotted him at the water fountain, waiting for his turn.

He was wearing a blue shirt today. It brought out the flecks of gold in his chocolate- brown eyes and accentuated his muscles arms. Before the accident, Angelus would have been exactly her type- he was tall, he played sport,and was, to be honest, the best looking guy she had ever seen. She felt strange just being around him, feeling things she hadn't felt before.

But of course, the accident had happened. The proof was the loss of her cousin, her "spark" and of course, the scars on her arm from when the car had-

"Buffy? Y'okay?"

Buffy blinked and realised that Willow was watching her, concerned.

"Fine. Just…stressing about the French test on Friday, I guess." She brushed a strand of hair off her face and smiled convincingly.

"Well, how about we study together? You could come to my house some night this week, maybe Thursday? I can guarantee at least a _B_."

Buffy smiled, " A _B_? So as well as tutoring, you're a miracle worker, right?"

Willow giggled, " If I was a miracle worker, I wouldn't be a nerdy, shy wallflower. I'd be the total opposite of me."

"You'd be a man?"

Willow laughed. "Thursday , I'll see you next period. I've got some library books to return. 'k?"

"Sure. See you in a few."

Buffy watched as Willow walked away. She was a really good friend- Buffy was thankful that she had met people like her and Xander.

And-

"Hey."

Angel was standing next to her, smiling. Just the sight of him gave her strange fuzzy feelings.

"Oh, hey."

" Sorry we didn't talk yesterday. I didn't really see you much."

Buffy gave a nervous laugh.

"I saw you." He raised an eyebrow, puzzled. "Lunch. I saw your little spat with..Cordelia?" Angel looked guilty for a second. "I take it she's your girlfriend?"

Her voice seemed cool enough but inside a tide of jealousy washed over spotted the slight shift in her behaviour and moved forward immediately, his hand brushing against hers.

"I'm sorry." He didn't even know why he was apologising. He had known her for less than a week. She was probably scared of him already. All he knew was that he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her like she'd never been kissed before.

Like that was ever going to happen if she thought he was with Cordelia.

And, as much as he disapproved, he was still with Cordelia. After lunch yesterday, it had seemed like too much hassle to tell her that she was nothing compared to Buffy.

" What do you have to be sorry about?" Buffy smiled weakly. She was suddenly aware of how close they were. If she reached up, just a little, their lips would touch. It was a tempting thought.

"I'm not really too sure," Angel admitted with a chuckle, "Look. Buffy-"

"Angelus!"

The shout made them both jump apart, as they turned to see Cordelia, armed with her skanks, watching them.

Regretfully, Buffy quietly shut her locker door and smiled weakly.

"You're girlfriends waiting for you," She reminded him, before walking down the corridor away from him.


	4. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_**Another chapter! Thanks so much for the people who have reviewed or favourited. You know who you all are.**_

_**This might seemed a bit rushed, and some may argue that the B/A bit was a bit too hurried but I really wanted to add a chapter and they had to be in it.**_

_**Sorry in advance for spelling mistakes- spell check is broken.**_

_**PLEASE be kind and review and more will be added.**_

Cordelia Chase was worried.

It was lunch at Sunnydale High- or, to be more precise, right before lunch. As usal, Cordelia and her "loyal" band of followers always quit the lesson before lunch at least ten minutes early, to take a much needed bathroom break and prepare to look gorgeous.

Who ever said perfection was easy? Just preparing for about 40 minutes in the cafeteria, where they would just be sitting and eating took time- because, of course, they wouldn't just be eating and sitting. They would be looking fantastic.

Preparation leads to perfection and popularaity. At least, that was was Cordelia believed.

"How are things with Angelus?" Harmony asked, standing beside her and leaning forward to apply mascara carefully, "Dramatic as ever?"

Cordelia glanced at her friend and smiled smugly. " Things are fine. Remind me to ask you the same thing if you ever get a boyfriend."

Harmony paused at stared at her friend, hurt clear on her face.

" I'd rather be single than be dating Angel. The guys clearly a walking head case."

"You didn't think that until he rejected you, Harmony. Bitterness isn't a good thing for you."

The girls around them eyed each other warningly. They knew better not to say anything until the two best friends had each delivered their final blow. Butting in would be way too risky.

Harmony glared at Cordelia before turning back to the mirror, pulling a tube of gloss out and unscrewing the top. Her hands were shaking as she applied a thick layer of the gloss over her already made-up lips.

Cordelia sighed. "Harms, I'm sorry. I've been crabby all day because of the Math assignment. That's it."

Cordelia watched as her friend slipped her lip gloss back into her purse slowly before turning to look innocently at her friend. When she spoke, her voice was sweet but after years of the frenemy relationship, Cordelia could sense the underlying tone of smugness.

"So...this has nothing to do with the new girl?"

Cordelia froze. How did Harmony know that since she saw Angelus and the new girl (Bunny?Bunty?) in the corridor she had had an uneasy prickling feeling in her chest.

She spotted the flicker of looks that shot around the rest of the group as they watched. Did everybody know?

She wanted to stamp her foot, or slap Harmony's overly caring, sympathetic face. She was loving this.

Cordelia Chase held nothing back when telling every detail of her life to her friends- but it was only things she wanted them to know. Now they knew things she had tried to deny, keep hidden even from herself. Something had to be done.

She forced a smile onto her face and laughed.

"The new girl? She's barely a blimp on my radar. I've better and bigger things to think about that Little Miss would I care about Bunty?"

She regretted even asking.

"It's Buffy. I just thought that you might be bothered. She seemed to be talking to Angelus a lot that's all. Looked like they'd talked before too." Harmonys voice lowered down to a confidential whisper, even though there was no way she wanted the rest of the girls to miss any of this. " Doesn't it bother you?"

There was silence in the bathroom, as Cordelia watched her best friend intently. Blonde, bland and brainless, three words that described Harmony perfectly. She stood, hand on hip, confidently waiting for an answer.

What right did Cordelia have to deny her what she wanted?

"Right, " She giggled, trying to keep her voice light and airy, " I'm really worried about the new girl. Have you seen who she's been hanging out with? Please. And FYI, Angelus was talking to her because I asked him to. I felt sorry for Buffy and I asked him to get to know her. She wouldn't have the guts to do anything with my boyfriend. Although, it is kinda sad that she's been here five minutes but she's already got more guy action than you have in a whole year. Pathetic, huh?"

The shift in the air was clear. The group of girls leaned towards Cordelia, watching as Harmony's face fell slightly. They knew who had won.

Cordelia sighed, and brushed an imaginary piece of lint off of her purse.

"Well, girls, I've got to go and see my boyfriend. Make sure you're all ready for the game on Saturday. Anyone not ready- " Her eyes drifted to Harmony, "- Well. Lets just say they'll be an opening on the squad."

And with that, she swept out of the room. The scatterings of whispers had already errupted before the door slammed shut.

She felt no guilt over taking Harmony down off a pedestal that clearly didn't belong to her. It had been necessary. Her place at the top was the most important thing to her- her friends, her man and her reign over the Squad cemented her throne and she would never let Harmony take it from her.

So it was time to finish off the job. If she wasn't going to risk one blonde taking her down, she definately wasn't going to let another try and do the same.

Angel couldn't believe what he was doing. He could not believe that he was letting Cordelia sprawl all over him, giggling and laughing and stealing his fries while Buffy sat at the other side of the room, talking to her friends. He wished that he could be over there, sat beside her, smiling at whatever joke was making her giggle, pushing the golden strand of hair that fell over her face.

A fortnight ago, he had never even heard of this girl. Now she was all he could think about, all he wanted to think about. He wanted to be with her every second of every day.

God. He had turned into such a cliche. All those times he had laughed at his friends getting dorky over girls, swore that he would never feel like that about anyone, seemed like a bitter joke now.

The bell rang for next lesson and Angel sighed with relief as Cordelia slid off his lap, straightening her criminally short skirt as she babbled some nonsense about meeting up later. He found it almost impossible to pay any attention to her anymore.

Nodding convincingly, he stood, grabbed his jacket and made his way to the ciomputer lab, walking slowly to clear his head.

"Angelus. So nice of you to join us finally."

Miss Calender tapped her pen impatiently on the desk as Angel sloped into the classroom and made his way to his computer. A lesson in the lab was so pointless. Each student had a folder of computer questions they were supposed to research, but as Miss Calender wasn't the strictest teacher, the class mainly spent their time on violent games or chat rooms.

Angel logged onto his computer and entered the normal chat room. His classmates were already arguing with another group of students in a different class, also in the chat room.

He sighed and scrolled down the members list. He only got so far before he saw a name that made his heart beat a little faster.

Buffy. Buffy was in the chat room.

He looked around the room but he couldn't see her. She must be in the other group.

Swallowing, he right clicked on her name and sent her an invitation to private chat. After a few seconds she accepted.

_**ANGEL- **__hey_

_**BUFFY- **__oh hi_

_**ANGEL**__- R U in class?_

_**BUFFY**__- I'm in geography. we're meant to be researching some things._

_**ANGEL**__- _Ahhh. Fun.

**BUFFY**- _LOL._

**ANGEL**- _Saw you at lunch_.

**BUFFY**- _U 2. :)_

Angel paused .

**ANGEL**- _right_.

**BUFFY**- _cordelia seems...nice_

**ANGEL**- _she is. nice. sometimes_.

**BUFFY**- _not many people are always nice_

**ANGEL**- _are you?_

**BUFFY**- _nope_.

**ANGEL**_- i have yet to be proved wrong._

**BUFFY**- _you will be_

**ANGEL**- _did i ever apologise for putting my foot in it the first time we met?_

There was a slight pause. Angel waited nervously until the next message appeared.

**BUFFY**-_u didn't. I'm too touchy sometimes_.

**ANGEL**- _and i'm too nosy. Sorry _.

**BUFFY**-_don't be stupid, you have nothing to be sorry for_.

**ANGEL**- _so now i'm nosy and stupid? :(_

**BUFFY**- _cheer up. from what i've heard, those things haven't stopped you from being pretty popular._

Angel smiled.

**ANGEL**- don't may be touchy and unable to take a compliment but you seem pretty great. :)

" Pretty great" was the highest compliment he thought he could get away with. Saying that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen might freak her out a bit.

**BUFFY**-_ Be right back. Email._

Angel smiled at the screen. He was falling in love with this girl. Head over heels. No way back.

Buffy, sat in the geography classroom in a different section of the building smiled at the screen. She knew she was taking the compliment probably too seriously- He had a girlfriend, after all and they barely knew each other anyway. Looking wistfully at the screen one more time , she sighed before clicking on the swirling signal that told her she had mail.

She clicked on the email and frowned as she read the message.

**FROM**- 

**TO**- 

Buffy. We need to talk.

Soon.


	5. Chapter 6

**_Thanks again to all those who reviewed the story. It means a lot and definitely speeds up the writing process._**

**_What can I say? I'm a review junkie._**

**_Last chapter with the email I proved just how idiotic I am and forgot that you can't display the email addresses. I had originally made up the addresses but oh well- it just created an air of mystery.._**

**_Well. That's what I like to think. _**

**_Hope you enjoy- review if you want more and ye shall receive ( I have been known to add two different chapters, two days in a row. Sound tempting? Press the button.)_**

The next morning, Buffy woke early, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. As she showered, massaging her strawberry and kiwi yoghurt shampoo into her hair, bubbles trailing down her neck, she worried. She worried about the pile of homework waiting in her bag, untouched, due in for Monday. She had at least three essays to finish- well, start.

She worried about her father and his upcoming visit on Tuesday.

She worried about the French test, which she had taken yesterday, after a distracted study session with Willow the night before.

And last, but definitely not least, she worried about the email that sat opened in her inbox.

With a sigh, she realised that the running water had become a spray of cold on her skin. Switching of the water, she reached out and grabbed her robe off the hook, stepping out onto the tiled floor and pulling it round her tightly. She always covered up her body nowadays, especially in here, in front of the large mirror. Shivering, she wrapped her hair in a towel and padded back to her room.

In ten minutes, she had dried her hair and had pulled on a pair of purple pyjama bottoms and a top over her underwear. It was still only 8:30 a.m. Her mother hadn't returned from the gallery last night.

Heaving a sigh, she went and collected the laptop from the unpacked boxes in the spare room and returned to her bedroom, curling up on her bed and logging onto her email account.

Ignoring the new emails that waited for her, she clicked on Old and opened the email from Friday afternoon.

_Buffy. _

_We need to talk._

_Soon._

The email hadn't been signed but Buffy had a pretty strong idea of who had sent it. The email address was a bit of a giveaway.

What worried her was why they needed to talk. What did they have to talk about?

There was a ping as she received another email. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she checked her inbox.

Another email, from the exact same person.

_30 minutes. Sunnydale Mall. Starbucks._

_I'll see you there._

15 minutes later, she was ready, about to leave the house. She had dressed in skinny black jeans, with a pair of purple flip-flops, matching sunglasses, and a stylish shirt- with sleeves, of course. She never showed the skin above her elbows anymore. She didn't know whether people would freak out, or whether it would just be too much for her to handle, people staring and whispering.

Running her fingers through her long wavy hair, she set off walking. Her mother had got a lift to work and her car sat in the driveway. She bit her lip but turned and carried on walking.

It wasn't that far. And she didn't want to get anywhere near a car if she was driving.

She arrived right on time at Starbucks, slipping into the café and looking round at the crowded room.

There. She swallowed and began walking over to the table.

As she arrived, a long, sleek arm, weighed down with clattering bangles reached out in an elegant wave, ruby-red nails contrasting beautifully with her sleek brunette hair and the tight crimson mini dress she wore.

"Good to see you. I wasn't sure if you'd come," Cordelia greeted her, as Buffy slipped into the chair opposite her.

"I wasn't entirely sure what you wanted to talk about." Buffy admitted as Cordelia waved an employee over carelessly. Buffy saw her examine her outfit and she thought her smile became a little less glacial.

Smoothly, Cordelia ordered for the two of them. As the employee wandered away, looking slightly in awe, she turned back to the blonde and leaned slightly closer, folding a napkin as she began to talk.

"It's Angelus."

Buffy blinked in surprise. A tiny part of her had suspected this but now it had been confirmed, she wasn't sure how to react exactly.

"Angelus…" She repeated slowly and carefully, as the brunette sighed. The coffees arrived, ignored.

"I've seen you talking to him around school," She began, but seemed unable to finish her sentence. Buffy watched her, alarmed.

"We're going through a rough patch, "The brunette cheerleader confessed quietly, tearing the napkin in half. "You've probably heard a lot of stuff…I basically get totally mad at him sometimes, you might have seen-"

Buffy nodded hurriedly.

"Yeah…I-I've seen."

Cordelia let out a miserable giggle.

"I can't help it, I swear. When I think about what he's done…I just get so angry.

Slightly timidly, Buffy interjected.

"When you say, "What he's done"…what exactly do you mean?"

Cordelia looked up with upset eyes. Buffy felt a flash of sympathy mixed in with the confusion.

"He's cheated on me so many times now I've lost count. Harmony, Kendall…he's worked his way through half of the squad, before me and…after we started dating."

Buffy swallowed. Angel, cheating on his girlfriend with her closest friends? He didn't come across as a womanizer…

But then again, she had sensed he had been flirting with her…

Maybe at the time she had thought it was wishful thinking…Maybe not.

Cordelia sniffed. Buffy handed her a fresh tissue.

"And it's not just them…a while back I found out that he'd been hooking up with other people."

"What people?"

"Quiet people. People that wouldn't kiss and tell. I confronted him…he said," Cordelia paused, screwing up her face, "He said that the quiet one's, the one's not interested in being popular, were often inexperienced…that way…he couldn't…you know. Catch anything."

There was silence. Buffy remained silent. She wanted to confront the girl in front of her, help her, but she couldn't spit the words out.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Cordelia looked up.

"If I was…his type, the girls he hooks up with on the side…I'd want a warning."

Buffy froze. She knew Cordelia was waiting but she felt like all the words had been squeezed right out of her like wringing water from a wet cloth.

She stumbled to her feet, pressing down some money from her purse and mumbling apologies before leaving the café quickly.

She practically ran all the way home, arriving at her front porch in record time. She tried to separate the thoughts burning like a fire in her head but it all hurt too much to even contemplate.

She was fumbling with the keys when she heard the voice calling to her.

"Buffy!"

She turned and saw him, standing by a lawnmower in his garden across the road, topless. Muscles gleaming with sweat as he shaded his eyes, and waved at her.

She ignored him, turning to struggle with the lock.

"Buffy?" He called. She glanced at him nervously, as he walked down his front path, looking confused as she finally unlocked the door and slammed it behind her.

Cordelia stood in front of the mirror in the Starbuck's mirror, waiting for the last person to leave her in peace. Reaching into her purse, she pulled her mascara out and began fixing her smudged make up. When she was finished, she applied gloss and arranged her hair.

A cruel smile of satisfaction spread across her pretty features.

Buffy Summers was no longer a problem.


	6. Chapter 7

Ta-da! Another chapter! I would have updated earlier but it's been a bit busy the last few days.

Thank you to the people who have reviewed so far- much appreciated. I apologise for any spelling errors or whatever- and I know I've said one thing earlier then contradicted myself later accidentally , but oh well.

If you want more, you know what to do. Yes, I'm talking about that cute little review button. You know you want to.

Monday rolled around all too quickly for Buffy's liking. Before she knew what was happening, it was time to get up and ready for school. She considered faking an illness so her mom would let stay home but she knew it wouldn't work. Joyce had learnt most of her tricks by now and it might just be pointless.

At least she had done her homework. Well most of it. She was surprised she had managed to concentrate on all that maths or French. She hadn't really been focused since her meeting with Cordelia.

As she lay on her bed, washed but not yet dressed, she bit her lip and mused about what the day would bring. Staring up at the pale white ceiling she knew that today was going to be tough. She had to avoid Angelus at all costs, which seemed impossible because for some reason she always bumped into him in the corridors.

She remembered the look on his face she had briefly witnessed on Saturday whilst he was watching her go into her house. He had seemed puzzled and hurt by her behaviour. He had seemed completely ignorant to what was wrong, what she had just discovered about him. Cordelia's tear-struck words rang in her head like chapel bells and something inside of her strengthened. Angelus was a jerk. He had talked to her because she was quiet and he thought she'd keep quiet about whatever happened between them. Buffy had honestly though for a while that he had cared about her, liked her even. He had seemed so sweet and gentle…she hadn't for a second considered his ulterior motives.

What a mistake, she thought bitterly. After another minute or so, she sighed and climbed to her feet.

"Angelus! Man, are you ready yet?"

Angelus hurried out of the house, locking the door behind him and slipping into the passenger seat of the sleek black car that was waiting for him outside, engine revving.

He began to make his way down the drive, eyes flickering to the house opposite, before climbing into the car. As soon as he had shut the door, the car began to move forward, before turning a corner and speeding to Sunnydale High.

Angelus dumped his bag on the back seat and turned to the driver- a friend of his since kindergarten, Charles, better known as Gunn( for your own safety.)

"What's the rush?" Angelus asked as the car raced on. Gunn might have been a reasonable pupil at school but he wasn't one of those people that rushed in early every morning for fear of being late.

"I have to see Coach Barnes about something," He told his friend, who nodded, drumming his fingers against the dashboard. Gunn was struggling in History and as his overall grades had dropped below a C+, Coach had threatened to kick him off all sports teams unless he got his game together.

In a few minutes, they had pulled up outside of school and Gunn, muttering apologises and promised to catch up later, rushed off to his meeting with Coach Barnes. Angel decided to wait until the first bell rang for Homeroom and sat out on the front wall.

Numerous people greeted him and although he replied half-heartedly his mind was somewhere else completely. He was thinking about Buffy- who else?-and how she had acted on Saturday. She had definitely been ignoring him outside of her house. For the hundredth time he strained to remember what he might have said or done to upset her but he was drawing a blank. So if he hadn't done anything wrong, why was she ignoring him?

The whole situation made him fell sick. Maybe he should just skip school today? Take a break from it all?

He was climbing off the wall when he bumped someone. The books they had been carrying scattered all over the sidewalk and immediately he bent down to collect them. As he did so, he spotted the name scribbled on them and realised who he had just collided with.

Handing the books back to their owner, Angel smiled at Buffy.

"Hey."

He watched, bemused as her cheeks flushed slightly as she composed herself.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She replied coldly before brushing past him and walking into school.

Buffy almost ran to registration and was actually early to first lesson, thanks to her attempt to avoid another encounter. In Geography, as the class settled down for another predictable lesson of droning, she covered her face with her hands and blushed.

She couldn't BELIEVE she had bumped into him like that. The first day of "Ignore-Angelus-At-All-Costs" day and she had walked right into him! She was so embarrassed. And why did he have to look so good? For a milli-second she had forgotten that he was a stupid jerk-face asshole who hung around with stupid slutty…sluts.

Why did he have to be a stupid jerk-face asshole? Why couldn't he just be a nice, sweet, caring guy who liked her? Why did he have to have a girlfriend, admittedly one he cheated on again and again?

All she wanted was-

It didn't matter. Not anymore.

Buffy managed to avoid him until the start of lunch. She had just had English and was strolling out of the classroom on her way to meet Willow and Xander for lunch. Then she saw him.

He was walking round the corner, talking to some guy when she realised he had seen her. Their eyes met and then Buffy turned swiftly, biting her lip as she tried to escape. She was praying he would leave her to go, but a second later she felt a hand close around her wrist and she was firmly tugged into a nearby empty closet.

It was dark in the closet. Buffy could barely see, as Angelus shut the door behind them and stared at her through the darkness.

"What is the matter with you?"

Buffy snorted. "Me? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm fine."

Angel watched her as she inched away from him.

"Then…what have I done? Why have you suddenly started ignoring me?"

Buffy stared at him incredulously.

"So you're saying you have no idea what you've done wrong?"

"I don't!" He raised his voice desperately. He could just see the disbelieving look on her face and became even more confused.

Moving closer, he reached out and brought his hand towards her and took her petite hand in his. She froze but didn't pull away. He might not have been able to see her perfectly but he could smell her delicious scent and he could feel her smooth skin as he slowly ran his thumb over her hand.

"Please tell me what you think I've done," He begged her quietly.

Buffy pushed him away fiercely.

"I don't think you've done anything. I know what you've done, Angelus. Maybe things would just be a lot easier if you left me alone and went back to your girlfriends." With that, she rushed out of the closet, leaving a confused Angelus stood alone in the dark.


	7. Chapter 8

**New chapter!Thank you to everyone who reviewed- sorry for spelling errors and sorry if it seems rushed.**

**Enjoy and review if you want more.**

Buffy was nervous beyond words. Her hands were shaking as she applied concealer to cover the dark circles underneath her eyes. She was dressed simply in a pair of black jeans paired with a long sleeved cotton white shirt.

It was Tuesday night. She was tired after a long nerve-racking day of school and all she wanted to do was crawl under the covers of her bed and rest.

But she was meeting her father tonight and that was not an option. Hank Summers was driving down from LA to see his daughter, for the first time since she moved to Sunnydale. She couldn't cancel.

The door bell rang. He was here.

Her father smiled as she came down the stairs, brow furrowing as he saw her pale skin and the shadows she had failed to hide. His grin soon returned as he enveloped his daughter in a hug and proclaimed that she had grown (she hadn't) and she was looking better than ever (a blatant lie.)

The ride to the restaurant was silent as they drove down the dark streets. Buffy didn't know what to say. She was praying that a certain topic she was dreading wouldn't some up tonight. She had an inkling that her father would bring up the topic of Celia-

Crossing her fingers as the car pulled to a halt smoothly, she climbed out of the car and accompanied her father into Jan's Restaurant.

Jan's was full, bustling with the young and the old, the rich and the poor. It was the most popular restaurant in Sunnydale- Xander was a huge fan of their fries, apparently.

She spotted a group of people from school and prayed that he wouldn't be here. She had strongly avoided him since there argument and was dreading the time that would surely come when they would next speak.

The waiter showed them to their table, where a candle glowed against the startling white of the tablecloth. Buffy put her hands in her lap and shivered for no reason. She may have been with her father but she felt uncomfortable. Everything was telling her to leave but she didn't know why.

Maybe it was just because she hadn't seen her father for a while.

"So, honey," He smiled at her, closing the wine menu and setting it on the table. "It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah," Buffy echoed quietly.

"But you're okay? How's school?"

"I'm fine. School is…school," She shrugged. He chuckled, studying her for a moment.

He opened his mouth as if he was about to speak but closed it, as it he had reconsidered. He seemed to know she wasn't going to share much information with him. With a sigh he picked up the menu.

"Let's order, shall we?"

Angel took another bite from his burger and chewed thoughtfully. He was at alone at a table, a half eaten plate of food in front of him as he waited. The waitress kept eying him up- he couldn't decide whether she was attracted to him or just sympathetic.

He didn't blame her. It did look like he had been stood up and in a way he had- just not by a girl.

Gunn was over an hour late. He had got tired of waiting so he had ordered food but still there was no sign of his friend.

And Gunn never refused a trip to Jan's. The food was great. Except for the fries, that was.

Angel checked his watch impatiently. Sighing, he got up to get a refill of his drink. Twisting through the tables, he reached the soda fountain in the middle of the restaurant, and clicked the button. Ice fell into a heap at the bottom of his glass. He stared around, drumming his fingers on the counter as he waited for the soda to fill his drink.

That was when he saw her.

Buffy. His heart almost stopped as he realised that once again he had bumped into her, only this time not literally. He watched her. She was with a middle aged man- her father?- and they were deep in discussion. He stood uncomfortably. He wanted to talk to her but he couldn't just interrupt- maybe he should wait for her to go to the rest room or-

Wait a second. He paused, not noticing as his drink began to overflow. Buffy had stood quickly, pushing the chair away with a scrape and fled to the rest room. The man stared after her helplessly.

"Erm...dude? You done here?"

He turned to find a young boy staring as cola began to our from his overflowing cup onto the floor.

"Sure. Whatever." Angel said distracted and followed Buffy. When he was outside the women's rest room he hesitated for a few minutes but pushed the door open nervously.

Thank God it was empty. The only sound was the dripping of the faucets, the whirring of the fans that kept the room chilly and the sobbing from the last stall.

Swallowing, he walked over and pressed the door with one hand. To his surprise, the door gave way. Buffy was curled up on the floor, head in her hands. She looked up briefly but didn't express any surprise. Instead she buried her face in her hands once again.

Angel slowly moved towards her and crouched down beside her. He wanted to reach out and touch her but she didn't know how she would react.

After an inner battle, he reached out and pressed his hand against her soft blonde hair, brushing it away from her face. The silence was overwhelming. At least five minutes passed before he pulled her closer to him. He expected her to resist. She didn't. Instead, she hugged closer to him. He comforted her quietly, whispering to her as he rocked her. It felt surreal to be doing this. Angel wanted to talk to her but he knew there was a chance she would leave it he did.

He knew she would probably regret this later, letting down her walls for him.

But she needed him now. He was here and he wasn't going anywhere.


	8. Chapter 9

**_Thanks again to all of you that have reviewed- it's because of you that I'm updating._**

**_Just wanted to say that I'm sorry about the last chapter, which I didn't originally like. I was in a major hurry and it was about three pages longer but I'd written the two parts at different times and didn't have the time I needed to join them up. It's long and complicated. To make up for it, I'm adding another chapter. No pressure or anything, but I respond better and quicker when fed reviews. And I already know what's coming up in this story so if you want more then you know what to do._**

"Buffy! Come on sweetie, get up, you're going to late for school!"

Joyce Summers hesitated at the foot of the stairs, a glass of orange juice in her right hand as she waited for the usual reluctant reply to drift down from her daughter's bedroom.

It didn't come. Apart from the usual morning symphony of brewing coffee, accompanied by the hum of the refrigerator and the tweeting of birds outside there was nothing.

Sighing, Joyce began to mount the stairs, treading quietly in case her daughter was sleeping. She hadn't been awake when her daughter got back after she had gone for dinner. She was just wondering how things had gone last night between Buffy and her father when she knocked on her daughter's door.

There was no response. She pushed it open gently.

Buffy was not there. The bed had been made, somewhat messily, and clothes were scattered over the creased sheets. It looked at if Buffy had just been her, considering what to wear. But when had she made this mess- this morning before school or last night?

Had her daughter come home?

Worriedly, she returned back downstairs. She was about to call Hank when she saw the phone, flashing red with the promise of a missed message.

She pressed the button and waited patiently. The recorded voice told her that she had one new message before the voice of her ex-husband drifted through the speakers.

**_"Joyce, it's me, Hank. I just wanted to check if Buffy was alright actually- we had a…a disagreement over dinner and I think she was quite upset…she was in the ladies room, you see, so I wasn't sure but a waitress told me she had mentioned she was going home with a friend. Just call me to let me know that she's ok. Thanks."_**

Joyce continued to stare at the phone long after the message ended, biting her lip worriedly- where was Buffy?

_She couldn't believe she was here. A couple of years ago, there was no way she would have been able to picture herself here, sobbing in a girls bathroom. A couple of years ago, she had no reason to cry in a girl's bathroom._

_Then he came in. She knew it was him before she even looked up. The look on his face, pitying, concerned, made her want to cry even more. It made her want two entirely separate things- she wanted him to hold her, but at the same time she wanted him to get out. She hated this vulnerable feeling, breaking down in front of someone she had previously been avoiding._

_But when he crouched beside her, holding her close and stroking her hair, she forgot she was angry with him for being a jerk. She forgot the things Cordelia had told her that had made her stomach churn. Even through her tears, she was all too aware of the lovely smell that surrounded him, the feel of his hands on her neck, stroking the small exposed piece of flesh on her hip where her shirt rode up. _

_She should have told him to stop but she couldn't. She should have but she didn't want to. If anything, she wanted him closer to her. When she pulled away and saw the concerned look on his face she wanted to pull him closer-_

_"Is there a Bunny Summers in here?" a timid voice drifted through the stalls. _

_"Buffy," Automatically corrected Angel, peering through the crack in the stall door to see a nervous looking waitress. Buffy had stopped crying, her sobs reduced to a few stray tears running down her cheeks. Angel brushed the salty tears of her face, trying to ignore the second where she flinched away. _

_"Her dad wants to know whether or not she's okay. He wants to take her home-"_

_Angel was about to reply when Buffy spoke up for herself._

_"Can you tell him for me that I'm fine. I'm going to go home soon."_

_The waitress hesitated for a second by nodded and left them alone in silence again. Buffy stood up, missing the feel of Angels touch more that she liked to admit. He copied her movements as she moved out in front of the mirrors. _

_Avoiding her reflection was pointless. She took a piece of tissue and set about correcting her smudged make-up._

_He watched her silently. Her hands were shaking as she cleared her mascara. _

_"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered._

_Buffy shook her head immediately._

_"I'm good. Thanks."_

_"So what are you going to do now?"_

_"I don't know. My mom…I don't want to…"_

_"See her?" He finished. She nodded slowly, avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror. He saw a tear snaking down her face and moved forward slightly, resting his hands on her forearms and running his thumbs over the soft skin there. _

_"Come with me." He said. She looked at his reflection through her eyes that threatened to brim over._

_He looked so concerned, like he actually cared. Glancing down at her hands, she nodded slowly_.

Buffy groaned as she rolled over. Sleep was threatening to abandon her, yet for once, she didn't want to wake up. She was warm. She was comfortable. She didn't want to wake but she somehow knew she had to.

And when she opened her eyes, she was glad she had woken. She didn't know where she was. This wasn't her bed. This wasn't her room. At least she was dressed. This didn't comfort her much at all.

Pushing back the covers she swung her legs out of bed and padded across the thick carpet to the window, Looking out she found herself staring at…her house.

Her blood ran cold as she turned and saw a sleeping figure on the floor. His face was peaceful, miles away from how she was feeling.

Especially when she remembered.


	9. Chapter 10

**_First of all thank you to everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry for the weird set up but my word document is being so awkward. _**

**_Second, this is going to be the last update for a while on this story so it's a bit longer than usual. Hope it is worth it- and no pressure but the more reviews I get, the faster I will update. xx_**

Buffy felt extremely dirty as she crept in through the back door into the kitchen. She saw a steaming coffee on the counter top and realised with a certain amount of dread that her mother was still here. She prayed that she hadn't been spotted sneaking out of Angel's house across to her own.

As she shut the back door with a small click, she heard hurried footsteps rushing down the corridor.

A second later, her mother was at the kitchen doorway looking very relieved. She enveloped her daughter in a hug before holding her out at arms length and examining her intently. It reminded Buffy of the days she would play out with Celia and their mothers would always search them for scrapes or bruises when they returned. The memory brought a lump to her throat.

"Where have you been Buffy? I've been so scared, your father called and he hadn't seen you since last night at dinner." There was no reply. Joyce gently shook her daughter.

"Sorry Mom," Buffy replied quietly, brushing hair out of her eyes, "I should have called."

"But where were you?"

Her mother's voice was both desperate and concerned. It made her feel guilty for causing her trouble.

"I went over to Willow's. We hung around for a while and we lost track of time. I'm sorry, Mom."

Joyce sighed and hugged her daughter again.

"It's ok, honey. You know I worry too much, especially since what happened with Celia. I want you safe."

Buffy paused and swallowed.

"Yeah. Safe." She muttered quietly.

Joyce sensed her daughter had frozen and pulled away with a sigh.

"I've got to get going. We've got a delivery at the gallery." She moved over to the counter to sip her coffee and glanced over at her daughter.

"You better get a move on if you don't want to be late for school, honey."

Buffy hesitated.

"Actually, Mom, I'm not feeling so good. Can I stay off school today?"

Her mother came over and pressed a cool hand over her daughter's forehead.

"You don't have a fever."

Buffy moved away slightly.

"Please, Mom?"

Joyce paused, watching her daughter.

"Well, if you don't feel well, I suppose there isn't much point in sending you in. Do you want me to stay home too? I can tuck you up on the sofa and make you some chicken soup?"

Buffy shook her head and moved to the door.

"It's fine, Mom. I know you're needed at work."

Just as she thought she gotten away with it, her mother called her back. She turned and nodded.

"Yeah?"

Joyce surveyed her daughter over the rim of her coffee mug.

"We'll talk about it later."

Buffy nodded and moved towards the stairs.

She came back downstairs when she heard her mother leave the house. She made herself some coffee and sat down at the dining room table silently. The clock ticked loudly above the fireplace.

A picture that stood in the centre of the fireplace caught her eye and she moved over slowly, picking it up and examining it.

It was a slightly blurry picture taken on a disposable camera. It had been taken the summer before last- Buffy had been fourteen. It showed her, waving happily to the camera, Celia smiling goofily beside her, blonde hair whipping around her face as the breeze had blown around them.

Buffy remembered that day on the beach. They were on a school trip to France and had visited the cove near the hotel their school was staying in. They had asked a classmate to take the picture on a disposable camera, so it hadn't come out that well. The image was gritty with flecks of sand and slightly off colour. Still, Joyce had kept it, saying it would be lovely for them to look back at themselves five years on and see how much they had changed.

Buffy swallowed and placed the picture back with a loud thump as it hit the polished surface.

She paced around the room, head in her hands. She needed to get out of here, needed to breathe and get some fresh air.

She walked to the front door and grabbed her jacket off the rack. Her hand closed around the door handle, and as it swung open under her touch, she walked right into whoever it was standing on her doorstep at 9:34 on a Wednesday morning.

It was Angel. Of course.

She stared at him, fist just paused in front of her where he had been about to knock. He saw her and let his arms drop as they remained in silence.

When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly casual.

"You know, if I tried any of that "I don't feel so good" crap you must of pulled on your mom on mine, she probably wouldn't believe me." He spotted her looking confused. "I find it's better if parents are stricter. Sets limits."

She blinked, dazed as he moved past her into the house. She didn't try to stop him.

"I'll remember to mention that," She told him, closing the door and watching him, arms folded.

He seemed nervous now despite his previous casual demeanour. He was fiddling with something nervously (a coin?) as he waited for her to speak. She didn't.

"What was the matter last night?"

"Nothing." Buffy replied immediately.

"You were crying," He reminded her gently.

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

"You were crying." He repeated.

"And you're avoiding the question, do you do that a lot?"

There was silence. Angel pushed his hands through his hair. Buffy watched.

"Look." She began, "I'm not interested in talking about my problems. I don't want to talk about my life or my childhood. I'm not looking for a friend in you, or a consult. I just want to be left alone."

"Maybe that's not an option."

"Maybe that has nothing to do with you, Angel!"

Angel sighed.

"Because you won't let me in. You seem so full of life and then I find you crying your heart out in a girls bathroom!"

She was avoiding his gaze now. He moved an inch closer.

"You've been through stuff. I get that. You probably feel like you're all alone in the world, that things can't get better, like your lost and you can't find yourself. You can't stay lost Buffy. You have to find yourself again."

When she next spoke her voice was timid and she looked up into his eyes.

"What if I can't?"

Then they were moving closer, and he was leaning down, cupping her face and running his thumbs across her delicate cheekbones. He hesitated, staring into her eyes. Something passed between them. They didn't move. Suddenly, it was Buffy moving her face closer to his, pressing her lips against his. He tasted strong, a mixture of coffee and peppermint. She tasted sweet, like honey and strawberries.

What started as an innocent kiss changed into a lot more in a very short amount of time. Suddenly the pair was engaged in what appeared to be a battle- hands fighting to pull each other closer, kissing each other with a mixture of both roughness and tender passion. Buffy had one arm hooked around Angel's neck, one hand pressed against his chest, as he moved his hand up to her hair. Slowly but surely, Buffy moved her fingers down to undo the buttons of his cotton, cornflower blue shirt…


	10. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Hey all! I'm very sorry for the prolonged wait- I know I did mention something about it but it was a little longer than I expected. Plus, I know this is quite a short chapter but hey- it could have all been a dream. I could have done that. I have that power.**

**Big thanks to everyone who's reviewed- hope you enjoy!!**

**xxx**

"Buffy. Come on." There was no impatience in his voice, but he sounded firm. She knew he wouldn't let her off that easy. Damn.

"How about you drive round the block and I watch?" She suggested brightly, "Same educational merit, less, y'know...crashy danger."

He arched an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth pulling up in an amused flicker of a taunting grin. "Crashy danger?"

She brushed her hair off her face and squinted at him through the shaded lenses of her sunglasses.

"Yeah, you know...me, in a car, driving, alone..."She waved an arm, as if what she was telling him was obvious," Hence the crashy danger."

"You won't be alone. I'll be right there in the passenger seat."

She watched as he moved around to the passengers' side of his sleek car and rested his elbows on the door.

"I mean, a responsible adult, like...like my mom."She paused and squinted, thinking, "Okay, maybe not my mom. But somebody less...distracting."

Angel smiled his quirky smile again. "You find me distracting?"He teased, leaning closer. Buffy rolled her eyes. "In what way?"

"In every way." She said lightly. She was all too aware of his eyes burning into hers. She felt a mixture of pleasure, that he regarded her so intensely, and also a feeling of slight discomfort. Straightening up, she tugged her sleeves down further down her arms.

Angel watched this familiar movement, scrunching up his face in an adorable way as the sunlight blinded him.

"Aren't you hot in that shirt?" he asked simply. Buffy shrugged nervously, like it was no big deal. He studied her for a moment or so longer, then slapped his hand on the bonnet of his car.

"Come on."He repeated.

"Angel! I'm a klutz! I can't even walk three feet without seriously wounding myself or another person. Putting me behind a wheel isn't exactly top in the Neighbourhood Safety Plan...thing."

It was over three weeks since the incident at the restaurant. There had been a shift since then; some things had changed, but many were still the same.

It seemed that no matter how hard Buffy tried to convince her, her mother was still worried about her. A couple of years ago, Buffy would have found her constant worrying a little annoying, but not now. It made her feel nervous; an irrational part of her thought that because her mother suspected that something was going to happen, something actually was going to happen. It made no sense but no matter how many hours she spent altogether reassuring herself and her mother, she didn't feel any better.

Her Dad still understand her exactly like before (i.e not at all). It still bothered her, of course. They had talked in the last three weeks; he had apologised profusely but she knew that he wasn't entirely sure how to react to the event. He wanted to be her father, Buffy knew, but she also wondered whether recently too much had happened for this to happen. He was visiting soon- they were building bridges. It was taking time, but the foundations were being laid, and all she could do now was hope that soon, she and her father could go back to being what they were before...

She didn't like to think about it any more. It was getting harder though. Especially now, because of the most significant change in her life.

Angel, obviously. They were currently "Dating." Dating as in they hung out at Angel's house every night, or drove to the outskirts of town to catch a film. Or, occasional, bickered affectionately in the street as Buffy resisted yet another attempt at a driving lesson.

Nobody else knew about their relationship- not their parents, not their friends, not...whatever Cordelia was to the two of them. She seemed pleasantly spiteful around Angel, happy in the thought she had stopped any chance of anything happening between Angel and the mysterious blonde, and sure that any day now, he would beg for her forgiveness. She was slowly growing impatient- Angel had no intention of begging his Ex for anything. So, as the days went by, he ignored her more, and her patience grew shorter and shorter- not unlike her dresses, her hemline snaking up an inch or so everyday. Buffy found this quite amusing, speculating that by the time the next month began, if Cordy hadn't got the message yet, her skirts would be reduced to the size of a string of cotton wrapped around her thighs.

Secretly, it did bother her a little. She knew Cordy and Angel had known each other for years, even if they didn't really like each other. She wondered how far they had actually gone, but was scared to ask. Despite the closeness they had shared the day he had come round to demand an explanation, they had resisted the incredibly strong urge to go any further. Buffy had reluctantly told him she wasn't ready. He had understood and of course he hadn't pushed. He wasn't like other guys. He wasn't only interested in getting into her pants.

Not that she would mind. The thought made her blush from head to toe every time she acknowledged this. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. More. Yes, it would be moving things along a little fast, but hadn't the last year taught her that life was short? Seize the day, she regularly remembered, and she wanted to. Seize it, that is.

But as much as the events of the last year spurred her on to make this decision, it also was the main reason that held her back. She hadn't told him about Celia. Whether he had forgotten, or was tactfully prolonging the time till he asked her about it, she was incredibly thankful, yet still incredibly on edge every time he watched her eyeing the car nervously, or tugging her long sleeves down. Always long sleeves. She couldn't cover her feelings that well, but she desperately wanted to cover her scars.


	11. Chapter 12

_Please review if you like it and want more xx_

_Cordelia Chase was not happy. At all._

_Cordelia Chase was the kind of girl who usually had everything she could possibly want and more. She had lived a pampered life, and no demand had ever been too much, too hard to obtain. She could reel off a list of very specific commands and she knew that she would get everything on that list. And that made her happy. It comforted her, knowing that she could have anything she wanted. It made her smug, it made her selfish, and overall it made her very confident. It was an extremely rare day when Cordelia Chase was unsure, like any other normal girl her age._

_But now there was something on her list of demands that she couldn't get. It was right at the very top, above everything else; it had gone from being just a regular given and was now the thing that she wanted most in the world. She was pretty sure that she would swap most of the other things, if only this desire could come true. But for some reason, this desire didn't seem to be getting the message. The object of her affection (or as much affection as the always-cool cheerleader could muster) was still very much out of her reach._

_Stupid Angelus! Couldn't he see that she was regretting the fact that they were no loner an item? Hadn't she showed him that? Hadn't she spent about a week showing him that they belonged together? She had worn red-carpet worthy outfits, with hemlines that revealed every inch of her beautiful long legs…she had waited, quite patiently, she thought, for the day when Angelus would turn to her, possibly in front of the whole school, get down on one knee and beg for her forgiveness, and promise that he was hers for the rest of their lives…or however long she wanted him. But sadly all of this was just a fantasy._

_She didn't understand it at all. She had eliminated the competition. Buffy Summers had had her pathetic little hopes totally crushed. Served her right for getting greedy. She was the new kid- what was she thinking, trying to hook up with the most popular guy in the school? Especially if the most popular guy in school had a fabulous, beautiful girlfriend._

_Buffy had been dealt with, for trying to screw with what Cordelia and Angelus had-Have. What they have. Because it wasn't over until Cordelia had said it was over. And she certainly hadn't said that yet._

_All she had to do was get Angelus back. Simple as that. _

Monday morning came around all too quickly for Cordy. She rose early on the day: she had a lot to do.

This was all just a game, and she intended to win. In a game, you have to play to your strengths- and figure out the weaknesses of your opponent.

Cordelia rolled up at school the next morning dressed to kill (metaphorically kill, not the yicky kind of kill, she couldn't help thinking). She stepped out of her car in the parking lot in one simple fluid movement, her heels meeting the tarmac of the ground as the sun shone down perfectly. Leaning over, she checked her reflection in the car window.

She wore a tiny black dress, which showed off all of her best assets. It was tight- the top was practically a corset, and she had to be tied into it at the back, but it was all worth it .The dress was made of a silky material, and emphasized her curves. She knew Angelus would like the dress. After all, he was there when she had bought it several months ago. She could still remember watching his eyes widen as she stepped out of the changing cubicle. The memory made her smug with sureness.

The dress made her legs, smooth and tanned, go on forever. She wore a chunky pair a wedge sandals, that gave her confidence with every step; if Angel was still hung up on that wimp blonde, then she needed the extra boost. She smiled, admiring her glossy red lips, her outlined eyes and her shiny hair, twisted up into a sleek bun. Her shoes would undoubtedly cost more than Buffy, or any of the other girls had spent on the entire outfits. A necklace hung from her slim neck; it wasn't the perfect shade of red, the same as her lips, and she had other pieces of jewellery that would have suited the outfit better, but it was a total must. After all, it had been a present from Angelus.

Breathing in the intoxicating scent of her perfume, her legendary predator look slid into place as she began to strut into the building. All eyes turned to her. Draws dropped and geeks drooled onto their math homework. She looked stunning.

Although the obvious adoration pleased Cordelia, she tried to concentrate on the whole purpose of today-getting Angelus back. All she had to do was find him-

Damn, she cursed as the bell rang, signalling homeroom. She sighed, checked her hair in her compact mirror, and left.

Homeroom, of course, was missing something important- Angelus. Cordelia fanned herself vigorously with the school newsletter, which had just been handed out. She wasn't the only one messing with it though. The school newsletter had become something of a joke lately, full of jokes with hidden meaning, or weird poetry….basically, nobody understood a word in it. Today, 25 had been handed out in Cordelia's homeroom. Most of them would just end up in the trash, after about an hours worth of paper planes had annoyed the hell out of everyone else.

The bell rang for first class: English. True, most of the school's geek squad were in this class and the next class, Chemistry- but in Chemistry, there was Angelus. Knowing that put a smile on her face, and she was the first one out of the door for once in her education.

English, like every other lesson was a bore. Usually, Cordelia got involved in the discussions, mainly because she liked the sound of her own voice, as well as producing outlandish ideas and leaving the others in awe. Well, they were pretty awed a couple of times…maybe.

Cordelia doodled in the margin of her notebook. She drew hearts, and crowns, and bold letter A's. As the others discussed the topic, she drew. Looking up for a fraction of a second, she saw that only fifteen minutes had passed. Rolling her eyes, she turned to stare out of the window- but something caught her attention.

She could see Buffy Summers, sat diagonally in front of her. She too, was not concentrating on the teacher and her rambling. She too was doodling. Cordelia leaned forward, and strained to see what she was drawing. She saw a heart, and a question mark, sketched faintly on the inside cover of Buffy's jotter. She was sure there was an initial. As she leaned forward to see, the door opened.

It was Angelus. Cordelia almost fell of her chair. The nerd behind her gave her what he must have thought was a cool, critical look. Cordelia glared at him and he looked like he was going to cry. Satisfied, she turned back round to the front and fixed all of her attention on Angelus.

He had handed the teacher a green slip of paper, and as she read it quietly, his eyes drifted around the room. _Look at me!!!_Cordy prayed, _Look at me!!!! _But praying was no good. His eyes never drifted to her, never searched hers and examined her in that intense way of his that made her weak at the knees. If anything, he seemed to be avoiding looking at anyone. _I'm just being paranoid_, she told herself, and coughed, trying to capture his attention. But in a second, the teacher was handing him back his letter with thanks, as he left and looking up at the class.

"Buffy Summers," She said, and Buffy looked up nervously. "Mr Stalin wants to see you in his office."

Ignoring the usual fake ,low gasp of disappointment, Buffy stuffed her things in her bag and left the room after Angelus. After a second, the discussion continued. Cordelia slumped back into her seat. Something wasn't right.

Then she heard her name.

"Sorry?"

The teacher was looking at her expectantly. "Do you have anything you would like to add to Debbie's opinion?"

Cordelia stood up suddenly. The nerd behind her that had been terrified by her killer glare whimpered and knocked his pencil case off the table. The people around him giggled.

"Actually, I'm not feeling so good. Could I be excused to go to the Nurse's office?"

Cordelia tried to look as sick as possible. When she was given the hall pass, the pained expression left her face, and her eyes narrowed as she began to stalk down the corridor. Something was going on and she intended to get to the bottom of it.

When Buffy had left the classroom, she had wanted to say something to Angel, but he had vanished. Feeling a little disappointed, she made her way to Mr Stalin's office, and wondered what the usually mellow Algebra teacher wanted with her. She couldn't remember ever doing anything wrong in his class, and Willow had been helping her with her homework lately, so it couldn't be about that…

She turned the corner slowly, pushing the hair out of her eyes and pulling her bag onto her shoulder uncomfortably.

It all happened in a second. One second she was carrying on down the corridor, the next she was being pulled into a dark Janitors Closet in a flurry of opening and closing doors. The next thing she was aware of was being pressed gently up against the wall, her arms pinned beside her.

The light flicked and she saw Angel, holding her up against the wall with a smile on his face.

"Not that I'm complaining but what're you doing?" She asked breathlessly. He let out a low laugh.

"What d'you mean? I've got a free period. You're visiting Mr Stalin." He buried his face in her neck and began pressing kisses to the flesh he found there. Buffy forced herself not to respond.

"Well," She began," I've never been called into Mr Stalin's office before- but I'm pretty sure the meeting wouldn't go anything like this." Angel stopped, and smiled a hidden smile as he heard the whimper she gave as his lips left her skin.

"Was that a complaint?" He teased and made to pull away. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, and pulled him closer, kissing him gently on his lips. "No." She said, her voice muffled. He smiled as she captured his mouth again and pulled him closer to her. Damn, he was a good kisser.

Every touch of his lips made her feel shaky. She buried her fingers in his hair, as his hands trailed down her back to her waist. He found exposed flesh where her shirt had rode up and he stroked it gently. She arched up against him, as he slid his hands underneath her shirt, and rested them against her lower back, enjoying the soft, cool skin her found there. His fingers burnt into her flesh and made it tingle.

After a few minutes, Buffy broke off.

"I really…"

"I know." Angel finished the sentence for her, and understood, but continued the kiss, pulling her even closer. But Buffy wasn't distracted. Much.

"You know, this isn't educational, in the classical sense. We should…"

"I know." Angel told her again and pushed her back into the wall and kissed her even more passionately than before. Buffy let out a low moan and responded.

After another minute, they broke off again, and Angel rested his forehead against hers. He drank in the sight of her, with her tousled hair, her flushed cheeks and her shallow breathing. He loved knowing that he affected her. God dammit, she affected him. Just looking at her made him want to stay in this closet. His eyes burned with passion and need and he knew she saw it.

"Class." She reminded him shakily. He nodded. There was a moment of unsure silence, where neither one moved. It could have gone either way, as they stared at each other, their eyes speaking volumes.

It felt odd when they separated, when her hands unwound from his hair, when his warm hands left her cool skin. She immediately missed his touch, as she rubbed her hand over her mouth and straightened her shirt. She felt colder than ever now. What would happen, she wondered, if she didn't go back to class? If they stayed here, in the closet and carried on with what they had started? What they hadn't yet finished?

"Are you okay?" Angel asked her, and she forced herself to nod. She knew that he felt the same way, but he seemed to be better at controlling it.

He pressed a detached kiss on her forehead with a great deal of self restraint.

"I'll see you later." He promised her and she nodded. He gave her a half-smile as he opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear. Buffy waited. He was silent for a few seconds, his body tense.

"What? Angel what is it?" She asked urgently. He didn't say anything. After a second or so, he shook his head.

"I thought I saw something move." He opened the door, and they slipped out, flicking off the light behind them and shutting the door quietly. The corridor appeared to be empty, and the sounds of teaching were a comforting buzz behind the closed doors. "I must just be paranoid." Angel told her reassuringly.

With a wary goodbye, they went their separate ways. Angel headed down towards the gym, and Buffy slipped into the bathroom before she returned to class.

For a second, the corridor was quiet and still. Then there was a rustling, as a figure stepped out from behind a large potted plant tucked in an alcove a metre or so before the Janitors closet. It was, of course Cordelia, eyes wide, jaw hanging low in shock. Oh my God, she thought, Oh my God.

The real nurse was ill. Typical. Her stand in was a nervous looking woman in her early twenties, who blinked repeatedly all the time. She seemed terrified as she popped a thermometer into Cordelia's mouth.

"Now, I'll just take you temperature," She told her timidly, " So I can see what's wrong with you."

Cordelia did not reply. She sat in a furious silence, as the nurse, obviously uncertain with an actual patient, rushed around the room, straightening things then making them crooked again a few seconds later. And she blinked constantly.

How had this happened? HOW? Cordelia had done everything right! She had spouted all that crap about being the victim of the situation. And Buffy had swallowed all of it, she had been so sure! So why were her and Angelus making out in a closet?? A closet, for God's Sake!!!!

The nervous nurse came back over and gently tugged the thermometer from Cordelia's mouth.

"Well?" The teenager snapped impatiently. The thermometer nearly fell to the floor.

"It-it's 98.6 degrees. You're fine."

"I'm _sick_." Cordelia spat furiously, "I'm _ill_." And she did actually feel a little sick. This was like her worst nightmare. She had been dumped for some fake blonde, yeah, but it was so much worse than that- she, Cordelia Chase, ruler of the school, was a poor choice compared to…The New Girl. Her place at the top was threatened. She couldn't let anyone find out about this…this disaster. It would haunt her for the rest of her life if people found out. Something had to be done.

Today.


	12. Chapter 13

_**Quite a long chapter this time- well, long for me anyway-but only because I need favours **__**J**_

_**I always ask people to review, but now I'm kind of asking you to review twice…when I wrote the first chapter, something must have gone wrong when I posted it- either that, or I was just crap at writing. Anyway, I just read it for the first time in about a year and I'm embarrassed I haven't earlier- it's so bad!!!!!**_

_**So I couldn't just leave it like that, so I've deleted it and added a rewrite. It only had a few chapters, but if you want to make me a happy bunny, please review on the first one, just to say if you like it, blah,blah,blah… if you only can be bothered to review once, please review on the new chapter.**_

_**Well, I wrote that part of the profile before I tried to fix my problem and I ended up deleting chapter 2 as well, and God knows how many reviews! Crap!!!!!!!! Hopefully, it's all fixed**_

_**Okay, and there's one more thing- does anybody read a lot of AU Bangel fan fictions?? I read one ages ago and I really want to read it again but I have looked everywhere and I just can't find it!!!!!If anyone has read a lot of AU fics, and think they could help me find it, please PM me and I will tell you basically what the story was about. If I find this story I will be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. EMAIL YOU THE NEXT CHAPTER EARLY KIND OF GRATEFUL.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who has reviews/added the story as a favourite. It may seem a bit stupid and HSM but I promise it will get better!! xxx**_

As much as Buffy loved the impromptu make-out sessions, she knew that she and Angel had to be careful. She wasn't ready for her friends to know- she wasn't ready for _anybody_ to know. Gossip spread like fire at Sunnydale High, wild and out of control. She didn't want to be under scrutiny by the rest of her class because she had been caught making out with Angel in a closet. In fact, she didn't want to be under scrutiny for anything. She was happy being a nobody- not happy, but satisfied. She preferred the calm, simple school life she had now, she liked the fact that she could blend into the crowd of students around her. She didn't want the attention that she knew openly dating Angel would bring.

She returned to English, slipping quietly back into her seat. She was a little disconcerted to see that Cordelia's chair was empty, her things gone. She waited for the teacher to turn and write down the homework on the board, before tilting her head casually towards Willow, who was dutifully copying down notes. After a few seconds she looked up and Buffy managed to catch her eye. She gestured back at Cordelia's place, puzzled.

"Nurse's office." Willow mouthed back, and Buffy was relieved that her friend didn't ask why Buffy was interested, or notice that the blonde looked a little bit flustered. She tried to push back the uneasy feeling that bubbled in the pit of her stomach and attempted to convince herself she was just being paranoid. Despite her best attempts, she sat through the remainder of the lesson on the edge of her seat, anxious for the bell to ring.

Cordelia wasn't in Chemistry either. However, Angel was. She walked in with Willow and Xander and blushed immediately when she saw him.

Biting her lip, she hurried to her seat, on the row of seats behind his. Great. A lesson staring at the back of his head. How romantic.

The whole lesson was dedicated to atoms. Joy to the world, Buffy groaned inwardly. She had no idea what the teacher was talking about. Everybody else seemed to be taking notes, and participating in the lesson. She looked about in desperation for at least one person who looked as confused as she did. Not one- if they were then they were hiding it well.

Oh God.

Before she knew what was happening, the teacher was splitting the students off into pairs to fill out a worksheet together. Buffy glanced at Willow hopefully- maybe her friend could explain all of this to her.

"The thought never occurred to her that the teacher might-

"Angelus- turn around and work with Buffy please."

"What?" Buffy asked nervously, but the teacher had already moved on, pairing Willow up with a guy with spiky black hair, who was in some band that had been playing at the Bronze last weekend.

Angel had turned around and smiled his gorgeous half smile. Buffy nodded briefly in reply, not wanting to draw any attention to them.

A worksheet landed on their desk as they sat in silence and Buffy coughed nervously. The rest of the class dissolved into chatting.

For them both to see the sheet, the had to lean in quite close. Buffy's golden hair dangled over the sheet as she bent her head, and absently, Angel reached up and tucked the hair behind her ear.

Buffy blushed and looked around the room. Nobody had seen. The other people on Buffy's desk had gone to work with other people, and luckily Willow was too involved with her partner to be scrutinizing her friend. Buffy looked up and spotted Angel's smile.

"Sorry." She apologised quietly as they bent back over the sheet. She saw the smile get bigger.

"Don't be. It's cute." He scribbled in an answer on the sheet. Buffy read it and didn't understand it at all. Dammit, she was going to flunk Chem. Class.

She gave him a "_Yeah, right_" look and he chuckled, before adding something else to the sheet.

"I'm just a little paranoid." She confided quietly, looking around the room as she said so, to check if everyone was still working, and to look casual. Angel looked up at her face for a second, then returned back to the sheet, whilst still talking.

" I understand that. But you weren't paranoid earlier, much. What's changed?"

Buffy shifted in her seat.

"I don't know," She told him with a sigh, "I'm just freaking out…I'm just not ready for everyone to know yet."

"You want it to be on your terms." He stated, writing something down. Buffy leaned closer, to look at his answer and as their heads were inches apart, he fixed her with his intense gaze. She knew he understood how she was feeling, even if he didn't agree with her.

"What about you?" She asked and he paused, thinking.

"I guess I should be worried…definitely about whether Cordy's going to find out or not…but we'll just have to wait. Aha!" He scribbled down the answer to the third question triumphantly.

When he next spoke, she immediately recognized the tone of teasing in his voice.

"So you really don't want anyone to know about us?" He said quietly, filling in another answer. Buffy jumped as she felt his leg slowly brush against hers, as he hooked his ankle around hers. She felt herself blush and had to make sure nobody was looking their way all over again.

She leaned closer and tried to look like she was concentrating on the sheet. "Angel-"

"Nobody's looking." He soothed her. She could hear the smile in his voice, even if she couldn't see it. A second later, he reached over and interlocked their fingers briefly; Buffy automatically squeezed his hand back, before smiling reluctantly and putting her hands on her lap.

"What would you do," Angel said, moving his lips just a fraction as he spoke in such a low and husky voice that Buffy was glad she was sat down, "If I kissed you right here, right now?" It was only then Buffy realized how close they were, how few inches separated their lips. She looked at him; hazel eyes met chocolate brown, and Buffy's revealed fear, fear as she acknowledged how much she wanted to go against her decision, and kiss him, not caring that the whole class was there in the room too…

But then at the other side of the room, there was a clatter, as somebody knocked over a pile of textbooks, and everybody laughed…the bang shocked Buffy out of her trance and she pulled herself away, coughing. Her heart was racing, as she tried to keep her cool. Angel rested his head on his hands for a second or so. Buffy thought he was angry, until he reached over and filled in the last answer with a grin. He pushed the answers over to her for her approval.

"Do they look right to you?"

Buffy snorted. "They look like Polish to me, Angel. I don't get any of this."

He smiled. " If you're struggling, I can tutor you later."

Buffy raised her eyebrow.

"Tutor? You do know what tutor means, right?" He laughed.

"Come over to my house tonight and you'll be reciting the ionic mass of potassium chloride in your dreams."

"Who dreams about potassium chloride?" Buffy laughed. A thought occurred to her.

"Have you seen Cordy today?" She asked casually. Angel looked up.

"I saw her swooping around on her way to English. Did she turn up?"

Buffy nodded.

"Did she leave during it?"

Buffy shrugged, trying to look uninterested.

The way she saw it, Cordelia had two distinct choices. She could go wading into the situation and possibly end up tripping and falling on her ass, or she could take it slowly, and carefully. She chose the second option. Falling on her ass was not an option. Cordelia Chase always got what she wanted. And this time just was no exception.

She began with research. After calming down in the sick room, she was ready. She forced the weak, nervous nurse to write her a slip excusing her from returning back to morning lessons, and went to the library so that she could use the computers.

The librarian looked bemused as she walked in with a flick of her lustrous hair. He was a middle aged, British guy- Piles, or something, Cordelia wasn't too good with names- and she had seen him once before when she had checked out some books for some dumb History project. The project was handed in over a year ago; the books remained at home, at the very back of her large, walk in closet.

The librarian must have forgotten, because after the first odd look he gave her, he went back into his office.

Cordelia sat down before the computer furthest away from the office and logged on quickly. She went on an internet search engine and typed in "Buffy Summers".

There were thousands of results- none of the one's she could see were related to the girl in question. She needed to narrow down her search.

She sighed wearily, already worn out, but determined to continue. She tried again- this time she wrote "Buffy Summers, aged 16." A sudden instinctive urge niggled her. She added the words "Los Angeles."

With the new data, the engine started searching and in a few seconds, there were many more results for Cordelia to search through. It was going to be a long lunch.

Preparing to scroll down, Cordelia almost missed the very first result.

At the very last moment, her eyes glanced upon it, and she clicked on it quickly.

It was an article for an LA newspaper, dated from months ago. The picture immediately captured her interest. It was small, and blurred, obviously a scanned copy, but the grainy image was clear enough for Cordelia to know she had chanced upon something useful.

It was Buffy- at least, it looked like Buffy, a few years younger than she was now, laughing, her arm around a girl who looked quite similar, with the same smile, facial attributes that were almost copies, and hair just a little bit darker. Cordelia wondered who the girl was. Bursting with excitement, she began to read the article.

"_The public were left horrified this week in the aftermath of a crash which claimed the life of one LA teenager, and left another critically ill in a nearby hospital._

_The incident, which took place last Sunday, involved the driver of a lorry for a local delivery firm, and two teenage girls._

_The girls, both students of Hemery High School, were cousins. Celia Summers, 16 years old (the eldest of the two by a matter of months) was in her parents car at a junction not far from her house, with her cousin, Buffy Summers, when the lorry, which was driven by Frank Abel, local worker, 46, collided with their car. Celia Summers, the driver of the car, died at the scene from severe internal injuries. Mr Abel is in hospital with minor injuries. Buffy Summers also survived the incident, and remains in a critical condition._

"_It is unknown as of yet where the blame lies for this incident," reports one police official,"The girls were in the wrong, in the way that the driver, Celia Summers, only had a permit, and they were not driving with a licensed driver. However, we have reason to believe that Mr Abel was not driving responsibly and therefore the blame may lie with him. For the sake of the families of the two girls, we are asking anybody who may have witnessed to collision to come forward."_

Cordelia sat gaping at the screen. There was more at the end about a planned inquest, and the funeral of Celia Summers, plus the condolences of the mayor, but she could not continue reading. She knew everything she needed to know right there.

Cordelia wasn't a sympathetic person. She didn't do empathy. She wasn't grateful, or particularly understanding. Cordelia was the kind of person who if, for example, had just been rescued from a burning building would complain **a**)that the rescue took so long and **b**) that her saviour was getting their blood on her new shoes.

But her discovery did actually make her stop and think. Now she knew this, everything made so much more sense. Everything had fallen into place- that was why Buffy was such a depressed loner, because her cousin had died!

She may have been somebody who was so shallow and self obsessed that understanding others was a difficult task, but when it came to things like scheming, Cordelia could be very clever. Another thought occurred to her. She had been watching Buffy quite carefully before she originally warned her off from Angel- was that why she always wore long sleeved shirts??? Was she scarred, from the crash? That would explain it, and why she constantly did the annoying tugging down of the sleeves thing!!

Cordelia sat back proud of herself and her work. She wondered whether this discovery changed anything. After all, she had to pity Buffy. After all, her cousin had died, and she had been in the car with her.

It must have been terrible. Cordelia thought back to the biggest loss in her life- all she could come up with was a disaster last year when she had caught her $7000 one of a kind Tiffany bracelet on Harmony's tacky watch and had tried to tug it free absently. She must have tugged a little too hard. The bracelet had snapped and she had been devastated. It had been replaced with the one she wore today, even more expensive, but she had still been upset. And furious with Harmony and her stupid fake Rolex.

But just as she was about to close the page, she remembered how humiliated she had felt when she had lost Angelus, when she knew he would chose some pathetic blonde new girl over a long relationship with her. He had barely known her for two minutes before he was drooling over her. He hadn't thought about how it would affect Cordelia. He didn't even care.

But then again, Buffy hadn't exactly been fighting him off. Angelus was a smart guy- it must have taken some serious slutty flirting for somebody to win him over that quickly, with such ease, right? She must have offered him her stupid miniscule body- what was Buffy, an elf?-on a plate, with a sign that said _"Take me- take me now!" _

The small fractional feeling of (deeply shallow) understanding, which would have astounded anybody who would have heard about it, was over in a second. Cordelia was back to her old usual determined self.

Sure, Buffy had been through a lot, and she deserved sympathy, but Cordelia just couldn't say that she had deserved it. She had known Angelus was dating somebody else, yet she leeched onto him and taken him away from his girlfriend. And it seemed to Cordelia that she had to be enjoying the whole depressed thing- in a way, it had got her Angelus, right? He was the most popular guy in the school, and he was smart, but the whole mysterious emo-girl thing must have won him over. So then Buffy could easily use her miserable wonder charms on some other guy, and it would work just as well. Angelus wasn't the only option. She _had_ to be taught a lesson- she had to know that she had no right just to swan into a school and take over everything. She had stolen Cordy's boyfriend. She had to be punished.

For a second, the computer mouse hesitated on the screen as Cordelia considered her options.

Suddenly, she clicked print, and logged off. She collected the article from the printer, and scanned over it, smiling cruelly. It was everything she needed to bring down Buffy Summers, and get Angelus back. And the best thing was, in the end, she would barely have to do anything. Because if she played her cards right, they would practically break themselves up.

Turning with a flick of her glossy blonde hair, she stalked out of the library. Her eyes shone, her mouth smiled widely and she took long steps, enjoying the sound of her heels on the floor. She was nearly there. And now she was sure of one thing.

Cordelia Chase was _not _going to fall on her ass.


	13. Chapter 14

**Cordelia strolled along the corridors, looking for her prey. The sheet of papers clutched in her long, manicured fingers were like a ball of fire, spreading shoots of warmth up throughout her arms. The halls were empty; the bell had yet to ring for lunch, signalling the students spilling out of the classrooms out into the cafeterias and the quad, flooding by the lockers…it was a chance to think, as Cordy walked. **

**And boy, was she thinking. The mechanisms in her brain were working full force, spilling out ideas that she was just dying to use.**

**Her original plan was clearly the best; she needed to make Buffy and Angelus practically split themselves up. This would of course push Angel back into Cordy's arms, where he would fall head over heels in love with her…or at least, give her something to use for blackmail, so that he and Bunny Summers never hooked up again.**

**It was like a game, like a tragic accident waiting to happen. All it needed was a trigger, something to set off the chain of events.**

**And Cordelia was that trigger. **

**By the time she got to the cafeteria, the bell had rung, and the school was bustling with life. The first lot of students trickled into the room, and Cordelia slipped in with them, narrowing her eyes as she searched.**

**There he was. Angelus, sat alone at a lunch table, picking at a sandwich. He seemed lost in thought, and Cordy wanted to admire the sheer hotness of the scene. But this was an opportunity that she couldn't simply let pass her by- Angelus was alone. No rabble of friends to distract them. They were probably being kept behind in class. Angelus never ate alone. She had to seize the chance before they came barging in.**

**Better still, Buffy wasn't there in her usual spot with her geek friends, Willow and Xander. This was just like fate.**

**Cordelia absently went to the counter and picked out a random selection- a soggy burrito, a foam bowl of frozen yogurt and a can of Diet Coke. Almost tripping in her haste, she made her way over to Angelus and slid onto the chair opposite him.**

**He immediately looked up, and after a second gave her an unsure smile.**

"**I heard you were sick. Thought you'd gone home." Cordelia's heart raced. He had noticed! He had been thinking about her! She licked her lips and gazed at him as he took a drink of Pepsi.**

"**No, I just went to the nurse. I saw you, actually before I went." He looked at her, interested. "In English. When you came in to collect Buffy." She watched him carefully for a reaction. There was nothing. **

**Cordelia knew that he had no idea she knew about him and Buffy sneaking around together, and she had correctly guessed that Buffy hadn't told him anything about their little coffee shop meeting, or elaborated on why she no longer wanted to be involved with him. It was so perfect it was unreal. He had no idea about the extent of her intentions.**

"**What did Mr Stalin want with her?" She asked casually. Angelus took a bite out of a fry. **

"**Something about some essay she handed in unfinished. I'm not sure." **

**Cordelia looked for any sign of weakness on his features. As usual, they were calm, strong and collected. He was such a liar. God, she loved him.**

"**Big surprise. The girl walks around half the time like she's on drugs or something." Cordelia paused before she delivered the killer line. "Though, you know, I guess, we have to be understanding and all. I mean, it sucks but, the principal would go overboard if he knew people were picking on her-"**

"**What do you mean-" Angel began, but Cordelia, desperate to drop the hint continued regardless. **

"**I for one am opposed to the whole Be-Nice-To-The-Troubled-New Girl, and I'm sorry for what happened but…if that was me? I wouldn't have gone blurting it out to everyone on the first day. It was so awkward when she told me and Harmony, Angelus, honey. All we'd asked her was what Art class she was in."**

**When she looked up, Angel was looking confused, but not doubtful; he had long ago become used to Cordelia rants, which were often bitchy and trailed on uninterrupted. He looked like he had realised something.**

"**Buffy told you what?"**

**Cordy continued like she had never stopped.**

" **But I guess its better than not knowing. It explains a lot, you know, why she's so shy and a bit of a loner…but most people know already. There are only a few she hasn't let in on her secret." Cordelia delivered the last line perfectly, and looked up to see Angelus' face, troubled and worrying. "The longer she keeps it from everyone, the worse it's gonna get. She's just going to have to keep telling more and more lies to keep it hidden." **

**Just as the last, word left her shiny crimson lips, a gaggle of jocks burst into the room- his friends. Cordelia smiled to herself, and stood, picking up her tray.**

"**Talk to you later, Ange." She simpered and sashayed to the table where her friends sat, leaving Angelus amongst the bustle of his friends, looking troubled and confused.**

_**Success.**_

**Buffy sat, curled up, leaning against the headboard of Angel's bed. In her deepest dreams, she had pictured this scenario (not that she would ever admit it) but this wasn't exactly how she had seen it. In the slightest .**

**Angel sat at the other end of the bed. He was so hot…Buffy was practically drooling. They were in his bedroom, which was a first for Buffy, and they were spending their precious alone time…studying. **

**Chemistry, to be exact. **

**He had been acting a little weird since they started the study thing. He kept starting a sentence, then changing the ending, leaving Buffy frustrated. She wondered if she had said something wrong. After a while, his doubts seemed to take second place to his tutoring, and he carried on.**

**Buffy watched Angel, as he leaned over the massive piles of books lying on top of the bedspread between them, and acknowledged vaguely that he was speaking to her. Probably something science-y, she thought, and went back to looking at him, and the room they were in. It was a large, light room. There were three windows spaced out over the wall overlooking the street, and the double bed (**_**double**_**- **_**as in enough room for two**_**, Buffy thought before she could stop herself. The walls were a shade of blue, the floor was glossy and varnished, matching the large doors of the walk in closet. Posters of bands she liked, and ones she had never heard of were tacked up randomly. There were two huge bookcases, filled completely with books and DVD's. There were pictures too, in frames, filled with happy, smiling people. A camera rested on the highest shelf, beside what looked like a thick black sketchbook.**

**And then there was Angel, sat at the end of the bed, looking as gorgeous as ever. He leaned closer to her, to look at a book near her foot, whilst telling her something important (probably) when she automatically reached up and touched his neck. Her fingers brushed against the soft pale skin she found there, and her palm curved around the base of his neck, pressing against the collar of his shirt.**

**He looked up in surprise with a smile as Buffy wove her fingers through his hair, and pulled him up onto his knees, until their faces were inches away. He looked unsure for a second, uncomfortable.**

"**I thought you-" He began, but trailed off when Buffy brushed her lips over his. He exhaled deeply, and put one hand either side of her thighs, practically bending over to look her in the eye as she was sprawled over his cushions. Buffy continued to tease him, the whole time with an adorable smile on her face, loving the effect she had on him as he closed his eyes with a deep breath. Finally, Buffy took mercy and pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss. He tasted of coffee, and as their lips met, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers down his back and pulling him closer. She could quite easily get lost in his kisses, drown in his deep, chocolate-brown eyes, but so far, she had managed to hold on. Part of her feared that if she got lost in him, she wouldn't be able to find herself. The other, more hormonal part of her was constantly yelling at her to jump his bones.**

**And today, the second part was going to get its way.**

**Looking mischievously up into his eyes, Buffy slowly and deliberately bit down on his bottom lip. With a loud groan, Angel moved, and everything changed. She had gone from being pressed gently and vertically up against the headboard to lying horizontally on Angel's bed, the books pushed clumsily to the side, as Angel pinned her underneath his muscular body. She couldn't move; even if she had been able to, she knew she would have stayed right where she was, tucked underneath Angel, one of his hands cupping her face, the other exploring the soft skin of her stomach, trailing around and up across her back…**

**And now everything was faster, and fiercer. Buffy lived for these moments; whilst she loved Angel's soft, delicate kisses, she lived for kisses of this nature, where he stopped treating her like she was a porcelain doll, and treated her like what she was- a girl, a woman. In these kisses, he showed her just how much he wanted her, and of course Buffy reciprocated- she wanted him just as much, if not more that he wanted her.**

**Angel moved from Buffy's mouth to her neck, leaving a trail of long sensuous kisses until he reached what he was looking for. Finding the cool soft skin, he sucked gently before biting down.**

**Buffy moaned in ecstasy and pressed Angel closer to her as he continued to nibble her skin. This was her weakness; this made her shaky, and made her want him more than ever.**

**The hand that wasn't holding his head, moved to the small of his back, underneath his shirt, feeling his skin. She brought her hand around to the front, between their bodies, and slowly began to unbutton Angel's shirt, fumbling with the buttons. Angel stopped, and looked into her eyes. He saw the blazing lust, no doubt mirrored in his own eyes. This was a silent confirmation. He wasn't the type to take advantage- maybe before but not now, not with Buffy. He had to be sure.**

**In response, Buffy pulled him back to her neck, and finally reached the last button. She pulled the shirt open, only to find another underneath it.**

**Buffy groaned. "You're wearing way too many clothes." She told him. He smiled into her skin, and then they were kissing again, their legs entangled, Buffy moving onto a simpler task, and pulled down the zipper of his jeans. She felt Angel's kiss become deeper, and instinctively hooked her legs up around his waist.**

**Angel moaned loudly into her mouth, and his hands moved from where he had rested them, lying across the throbbing pulse point on Buffy's neck, down to her shirt, a top with a layered effect, made to look like too different shirts. Thankfully for him, it was only one shirt joined together, and he groaned again into her mouth as she shifted her position, just as his fingers reached the soft green cotton material of her shirt, and began popping open the buttons.**

**It took Buffy a second or so to register what Angel was doing. In that second, she had a split second change of emotion. When she felt his talented hands, opening the front of her shirt, she was too lost in passion to think of the negative side. She moaned with pleasure, his hands finding his, helping him-**

**And in a fraction of a second she realised what was going on, and her heart skipped a beat as the dull feeling of dread and panic flooded into her stomach. Her hands went from helping him, to pushing him away, as struggled beneath him. For a pause she met the bewildered look in his eyes, and hesitated, but it was over just as quickly as it had begun, as she was sliding out from beneath him. She sat up, breathing heavily, her face burning red as she felt the blood pounding through her head. She scooted to the corner of the bed opposite, as far away from him as possible as she fastened her shirt properly with shaking hands. **

"**I should…I should go now." Buffy babbled hysterically, avoiding looking at Angel, and the confusion that she knew would be on his beautiful features.**

"**Buffy-"Angel began as Buffy rearranged her twisted shirt, almost crying with upset. She made her way hurriedly to the door, but he got there first. Buffy stared at Angel's chest, and the black tank top exposed by his unfastened shirt. She couldn't force herself to look at his face.**

**Angel was clearly in shock. He reached out a hand and rested it on her shaking forearm, steadying her.**

"**Buffy, are you okay?" **

"**I-I'm fine." She told him, " I just…I just think I should leave now."**

"**Why?" He asked her, and she could tell how confused he was. She noted it, but didn't think about explaining. Right now, her only priority was getting out of the room, and across to her own house.**

"**I-I just want to go Angel, please…its-I can't do that, I can't…have sex with you, I'm not ready." **

**Her voice was trembling uncontrollably but he heard what she said clearly. Focusing her gaze on his chest, Buffy didn't see the emotions flicker across his face- hurt, confusion- and then anger. Hurt confused anger, bubbling in his stomach, blazing in his chest.**

"**Not ready?" He repeated, and his voice came out louder than he intended, making Buffy jump. "You're saying you're not ready?"**

**Buffy's face burnt crimson, and all she wanted to lay her head down and weep.**

"**I'm sorry Angel, I promise, you won't have to wait long-"**

**Her misunderstanding made Angels eyes widen and his temper flared.**

"**You think- you think that's why I'm angry? Because you won't have sex with me?" He cursed and turning, punched his hand against the wall of his bedroom. A poster fell down. Buffy jumped again, and inched away from Angel, suddenly scared.**

"**Angel-"**

"**I'm angry because you're lying to me Buffy. I know you're ready, I can tell by the way you kiss me. You wanted that just as much as me. So are you going to tell me what's really wrong?" She stayed silent and shaking. Angel reached out and grabbed her forearms, pulling herself to him, lifting her almost off the floor. They were inches apart, but still she avoided his gaze. "Stop keeping secrets. Stop shutting me out." He whispered in a voice so ragged and broken that Buffy wanted to cry even more. **

"**Look at me." He told her. She tried to ignore him. Releasing his iron-like grip on her left arm, he reached and tilted her face firmly to look at him. "Look at me." The hazel eyes met the chocolate brown, and Buffy shivered as she remembered just minutes earlier, looking into his eyes, telling him silently, begging him to continue….**

"**Tell me that you didn't want that. Tell me that you aren't ready, that you don't want me."**

**There was a silence. It was awkward beyond belief, thick with tears uncried as of yet, where harsh words hung in the air like a heavy scent, mixed with sheer bewilderment and concern. And anger, Angel's anger, bitter and strong.**

**Buffy was so close to the lips she adored, the skin the loved. She longed to touch him, to fold herself up in his arms, to hold him, and soothe him with promises and truths….empty words, promises. She knew that by now.**

**Empty words.**

**Buffy managed to conjure up strength that she didn't know she even had left. It took a lot, to look straight into the depths of Angel's eyes, and lie.**

"**I didn't want that. I'm not ready…and I don't want you."**

**He was still and numb as she struggled free and fled from the house.**

_Angel sat at the bar of the Bronze, round the corner from the dance floor, away from all of his friends. They couldn't see him. He wanted nothing to do with them. He just wanted to get hammered. Thank God for his fake ID, he thought, as he downed his latest shot of vodka, and slammed it down onto the bar in front him, in a forest of empties. He had had a lot to drink. A lot. As he waved for another, and caught the cool glass as it slid across the bar, he wondered what the hell he was doing._

_He remembered her then- Buffy, tears in her eyes, shrinking away from him, her skin flushing as she made her excuses. Practically begging him to understand. He felt sick at the memory. She thought that was why he was angry. Like she was just the latest in a long line of women. No. She…she was different. But there she was, looking at him, terrified of him, lying to him…he hated her for it, but not as much as he hated himself for the white hot anger that had taken him over. She had been so upset, but he couldn't force himself to comfort her…how could she think that of him? He wasn't some acne-ridden, hormonal thirteen year old, playing at being in love. He didn't care…and yet the pent up sexual frustration had only made him angrier…_

_But it was when she had told him that she wasn't ready, that he remembered Cordelia and what she had started to tell him…Buffy and her secret, the one that everybody knew…except him. She hadn't told him, she preferred to lie right to his face. He knew how much she wanted him. She had tried to remove his shirt, she had undone his pants, hooking her legs up around his waist and pressing against him…She was more than ready. But not with him. Not him. She lied to him, she clearly thought he was only in the relationship for sex…no sex, no happy Angel. Was that was it was for her? He considered in a drunken stupor, gazing into the bottom of the shot glass, before downing it in one._

"_Another." He slurred. The worried looking bartended announced that he was cutting him off. Angel shouted his complaints. He wasn't drunk! He was fine!!_

_The barman didn't change his mind. He tentatively asked if there was a number Angel wanted him to ring, or if there was somebody that could come and collect him and see him home-_

"_I'll make sure he gets home and straight to bed." A sultry voice announced, as a manicured hands slid around Angel's neck. The barman shrugged, satisfied, and moved over to serve somebody else. Angel squinted upwards into the gleaming eyes of Cordelia Chase._

_Hope you all liked it ( or bitterly hated it) and feel the need to review, and tell me what you think should happen next. Sorry for all the angst- I'm trying to get across how broken Buffy really is. And how much of a skank Cordelia is._

_**Review for more, especially as it was quite a long chapter…. :)**_


	14. Chapter 15

**Enjoy...even though you probably won't :P**

The pain in Angels hand was what originally woke him up. That, and the uncomfortable position that he lay in. Never before had his bed felt so uncomfortable. What was that underneath his back? He reached down with a groan, and pulled out what felt like a shoe. With a sigh, he discarded it clumsily. It landed on the floor with a bang.

Through his closed eyelids, Angel couldn't see even a fraction of light, which meant it must still be quite early. He didn't bother to open his eyes, hoping he could squeeze in a few more hours sleep before the inevitable buzzing of his alarm clock rang rudely though his bedroom.

But the throbbing in Angels hand prevented him from falling back into his slumber. Pain cursed across his knuckles, and with his other hand, he ran his fingers gently over the tender ridges. The touch caused him to wince loudly in pain, and he wondered whether or not his hand was bruised. Sitting up, Angel froze, as another pain flushed through his body. His head was killing him. From the severity of it, Angel knew this wasn't just a migraine. He had a huge hangover.

Come to think of it, how had he gotten home last night? And where had he been before he came home? The Bronze, maybe? Pushing his hands through his hair and yawning as he sat in the silent dark room, Angel tried to remember. The last thing clear to him was an emotion; anger, a burning, bubbling rage in the pit of his stomach.

It came flooding back to him in a second or so as he remembered the incident in Buffy's room yesterday. A dull, hollow feeling returned to Angel. With a loud groan, he reached over for his lamp on his bedside table.

He felt nothing except what felt like a pile of magazines. Angel paused, confused. His head was thick with a foggy haze, but he was thinking clearly enough to know that something was wrong, different. Stumbling out onto his unsteady feet, he walked blindly across the thick padded carpet (another sign that something was wrong) cursing as he trod on something pointy, until he reached something solid, a wall. Fumbling for the light switch, he hissed as the pain from his hand and his head began to hurt on a completely different level. All he wanted now was some painkillers. And maybe a shot or two of vodka, just to numb the dull feeling in his chest. _"Because that worked so well the first time!"_ A small voice in the back of his mind mocked scornfully, and it wasn't until Angels fingers found the switch and flicked it on, that he knew what that little voice meant.

As a garishly bright light flooded his surroundings, Angel shaded his eyes quickly. The short few seconds of illumination his throbbing headache allowed him to see were enough to let him know four things- The first, that he was not in his room. The second, that he was butt naked, and not in his room. The third, that he was not alone, in the bedroom that wasn't his. And the fourth…he was in **big** trouble.

**xxx**

When Buffy woke the next morning, it was before the alarm clock even rang. The sky was dark outside. There were a few hours until she needed to get up, but despite her best attempts, the drowsiness left her, her head clear. There were no distractions from her thoughts, her problems. They were strong and bright like the headlights of a truck bursting through the pitch black night…shivering, she rolled over, pulling the covers closer around her petite form.

Absently, she ran her fingers over her knuckles. It was a simple movement, and she personally had no idea why she was doing it, but the soothing action only made her feel worse. She felt sick.

Buffy closed her eyes tight, trying to block out any thoughts. But still they slipped easily into her mind, images replaying themselves again and again, burning against her eyelids.

She felt a combination of things. The emotions stewed in her stomach, making her feel like she really was going to vomit. Embarrassment, guilt, anger, sadness… each and every one of those, magnified to a huge size. She wanted to cry-which she had done earlier last night- a lot. She had told herself that she had cried as much as she could, but as she swallowed away a lump in her throat, she knew this had been a lie.

Lies….that was one of the main things bothering her. That, and confusion. Angel had known she was lying to him, when she told him shakily that she wasn't ready to have sex with him, but she had thought she had done a pretty good job of disguising her secret. No, she had been sure. How had he known? She had overreacted… but he had just been so…

She remembered the look on his face as he punched the wall, as she had fled the room. She felt pathetic, looking back, like some wimpy hormonal teenage girl from some tacky Rom-Com. But that's what she was, after all. A wimpy hormonal teenage girl- and a pretty screwed up one at that. What must Angel think of her?

Buffy knew she owed him an explanation. _At school_, she reasoned, _At school, I'll talk to him and explain everything._

_Now,_ another little voice whispered to her. She tried to ignore it. It didn't work. After a few minutes, she could no longer repress the urge to talk to him, and explain, right now. Sooner rather than later.

Buffy climbed quietly out of bed and walked to her window. She slowly pulled back the blinds and looked across at the opposite house, Angels house. The house was dark. Buffy stared at the windows that she knew were in his room, as if she was willing them to show a sign of light or life behind the dark curtains. Nothing. He must be sleeping, she thought. She didn't want to wake him so early…but this was important. If she didn't explain now, when she had summoned up some stupid courage to do so, then she never would.

As her eyes adjusted to the familiar darkness, she reached over onto her bedside table and found her cell phone. She went onto her contacts, and clicked into his details. With a deep breath, she pressed the button and waited as she heard the phone ringing. The whole time, she was looking over at his house, waiting for his light to switch on.

She was so distracted in waiting that she barely noticed that somebody was on the other side of her call.

"Angel?" She asked. There was a silence. What came next reduced Buffy to a cold, statue-like figure; it felt like icy cold water was trickling down her spine as she heard a familiar, cool voice.

"Buffy Summers? What are you doing calling at this time?" Through the slight grogginess of the girls voice, Buffy could hear a clear smug tone that made her clench her fists. She didn't reply. Right then, she hated Cordelia Chase more than she had ever hated anything in her entire life.

"Angelus isn't here right now. He left a few minutes ago." There was a silence, as Cordelia waited cruelly for a reply. She didn't get one. Buffy remained silent and still, her eyes focused on Angel's house in vain, as she clicked a button on her cell phone and ended the call.

The screen of her phone glowed in the dark room. It's meagre light cast a soft ray of illumination over Buffy's pale face, staring solidly out of her bedroom window at the house opposite…

A few minutes later a larger light was cast over her face, as a car drove down the street. It travelled quickly, but clumsily. Luckily, it managed to avoid any of the other cars parked neatly by the sidewalk and pulled up onto the drive of the house opposite.

Buffy found herself holding her breath as the door on the drivers side swung open. Angel climbed out. Even from far away, Buffy could tell how bad he looked. His hair was a mess, from having fingers pushed through it (_but who's fingers? _Buffy wondered bitterly) his shirt seemed to be buttoned in completely the wrong way and the look on his face was like a cauldron of different dark emotions. Buffy recoiled slightly. It was more out of fear that he would see her watching, rather than actual fear of him. Right then, she didn't fear him- she felt like punching him, and pushing Cordelia Chase down a very long filthy well somewhere, but no, she wasn't scared of him. As she watched his bedroom light switch on a few minutes after he entered his house, Buffy stepped backwards suddenly. She stood, in her pyjamas, in the middle of her room. The darkness was all around her, but she didn't mind. By now, she and the darkness were old friends.

Slipping back underneath the lukewarm covers of her bed, Buffy stared up at the ceiling, and tried to push back any thoughts of guilt that had plagued her earlier. Anger replaced them- injustice and the sheer disappointment of what she had just discovered. Angel had spent the night…with Cordelia. He had…slept with her, then left before sunrise, forgetting his phone…._Would he have done that with me?_ She thought, _Would he have left suddenly before sunrise? _A few minutes earlier, if this had been a casual thought, Buffy would have said No. Now, only a mere five minutes later, she wasn't so sure anymore.

**xxx**

Cordelia reached over and turned off her buzzing alarm clock. Smiling, she stretched out beneath her silk sheets and yawned.

Swinging her bare legs out of bed onto the thick cream carpet, she stood, and after wrapping a black kimono-style robe around her naked form, she opened her curtains slightly, allowing a little more of the morning light into her room.

Other than his cell, lying on her bedside table, the rumpled covers on the other side of her double bed, and the imprint of a head on the pillow beside her own, there was no trace that showed that last night Angelus had spent the night with her.

But Cordelia knew, and so did Angelus…and as of about 4 am this morning, so did darling little Buffy Summers. As Cordelia sashayed into her large en suite bathroom, she laughed. It was a happy laugh, a spiteful cruel laugh. The thought of poor, innocent, _scarred _little Buffy realising that Cordelia had Angelus' phone filled her with an evil joy. She wondered how the other girl had reacted, alone at home. Had she tried to reason with the situation, making up the usual crap excuses that she knew desperate losers that had been cheated on tended to make…was she at her house right now, convinced that everything was fine and dandy between her and Cordelia's man?

But things weren't right between them anyway; Cordelia had managed to get that much out of the drunken Angelus last night- why else would he have got so wasted? He had been babbling, something about Buffy- Cordelia had heard the words "Lying" and "I could tell", as she loaded Angelus into her car and drove them back to her house.

Then…the rest was history.

It had all worked out perfectly, she realised happily, as she used two fingers to apply a thick layer of a chocolate scented facial mask to her skin. But now was not the time to get sloppy. She had planted the seed of doubt in Angelus' head, and she would bet anything that the two of them had had a big argument (hence extremely pissed Angelus at the Bronze last night). Things were almost back to normal; now all she had to do was properly secure Angelus as her own, today.

She smiled. Her reflection smiled back at her widely.

Simple.

Cordelia arrived at school just as Angelus was stumbling along the sidewalk. His head was still killing him, but after four cups of strong coffee, he was able to think a little more clearly. But still, even though he was thinking a little more clearly, his thoughts were still about as clear as…mud.

He pushed his dark sunglasses further up onto his nose. It was way too sunny to even contemplate taking them off.

He had come around the long way, to avoid bumping into any of his friends. They hadn't even known about him and Buffy…dating. They would therefore be totally nosey about why he had got so pissed last night.

Tightening the grip of his bandaged hand around the strap of his bag, he began walking up the steps. Through the thick lenses of his glasses, he hadn't seen where he was going, something he realised all too late as he collided with somebody, their books spilling all over the concrete steps.

But Angel was unaware that this was no ordinary accidental collision. This was a Cordelia-collision- totally unnecessary, totally planned.

As he apologised and straightened up after gathering the books back up again, he realised who he had bumped into.

He swallowed.

"Hey…Cordelia."

Cordelia tried her best to look a little…wounded? Vulnerable? Hell, it worked for Wimpy Summers. It had to work for her.

"Ah, so you're back to calling me Cordelia again. Makes a change."

"What was I calling you last night?" Angel asked quietly, confused.

Cordelia pretended to think.

""Darling." "Sweetie." Stuff like that."

"Oh."

There was a silence.

"What happened last night…"Angel began.

"Was wrong. That's what you're gonna say right? Even though it felt right." Cordelia moved away, sitting on the wall behind her. Angel watched her carefully. She knew she had his full attention. She bathed in the feeling.

"I don't really…I can't exactly…"

"Remember?" She finished the sentence for him with a little pang of hurt in her voice, satisfied to see Angel look a little bit guilty. She felt a pang of smug pride. This was the guy that had once told her he could see right through all of her bullshit. _Well, not this time, huh? _She thought happily.

"I was alone, at home…and I got a call from some guy at the Bronze, saying that you were there, totally trashed…so I drove over and found you. I paid your bill-"

"How much?" Angel winced.

Cordelia shrugged.

"Erm….I think it came to about $150 in the end." She saw him open his mouth, probably to offer to pay her back, but she waved it away casually. "It's fine, I wanted to. I mean, you were in a pretty bad way. I didn't want to take you home- you said you'd lost your key, and then something about not wanting to see _"her", _whoever _"she" _is. So I took you home. And then it just sort of…happened. You were drunk, and I was upset-"

"Why were you upset?" Angel asked, suddenly. Cordelia looked up at him with big eyes.

"Come on, Angelus, work it out! I've been trying to tell you for weeks! But ever since we broke up, you haven't seemed to even give a damn. You don't care anymore, what I do, what I say, what I wear… I thought that I'd screwed up my one chance with you! And then last night, you were…you were nice, complimenting me, paying me _positive _attention for once…I couldn't stop. I'm glad it happened."

There was a silence. A bell rang, far away.

"Why?" Angel asked, and in Cordelia's opinion, he spoke with a softness she had never heard before. How cute. Kind of attractive. Perfect.

"Because I've fallen in love with you, Angelus." With that last, perfectly delivered line (passionate, with just a hint of grief) Cordelia launched herself up into Angels arms, pressing his mouth against her own. He was still for a few seconds, but slowly, she felt his hands on the small of her back, as he responded. Cordelia kissed him even harder. Everything had worked out. The evil witch had been banished (hopefully back to wherever the hell she had come from) and the handsome prince had claimed his partner. _And they all lived happily ever after_, Cordelia thought joyfully as she broke away from Angel, lust apparent in her eyes.

Buffy stood a few feet away from the embracing couple. Her eyes were wide, her face pale. Hurt, shock, and pain flickered across her face, before she turned slowly and walked into school, unseen and silent.

**Okay, so I know this chapter will probably really piss some certain people off, but please carry on reading! Remember, I'm a Buffy/ Angel fan- I was watching an episode of Angel just yesterday, with Angel/ Cordelia ickiness, and I felt sick- they REALLY don't belong together. But yeah, I'm really going to go against my hate for the skank and put her together with Angel forever and ever....yeah right. Continue reading is you want to know how the story will unfold- and I eat reviews! The faster they come, the more chapters you get, and quicker updates as well. BTW- I think I know how this story will end...if you want to eventually know, you better click that review button!**

**And thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, expressing hate for Cordelia. It made my day. xxx :)**


	15. Chapter 16

**Buffy's feet were carrying her quickly away from the embracing couple, until she was almost running. Her body was moving, she was breathing heavily, and her face was screwed up in confusion, but she was not aware of any of this. Her thoughts were like a giant tangled ball of string; she tried to untangle them, collect them so that she could think clearly, but they were too knotted to even contemplate. Her mind was detached from her body- she forgot that she was running late, that homeroom would have already started. None of it mattered. It didn't even seemed like a blip, compared to what was going on now.**

**She registered a feeling of disgust- not just at what she had just seen, but her reaction. She had spent hours telling herself again and again, that she was okay with what she had figured out, that Cordelia and Angel had….were together. It had become almost like a mantra. She had lain, staring at the ceiling, trying to convince herself that everything was fine. After all, she had wanted to blend in, to go unnoticed. Now, with Angel and Cordelia back together, she had told herself again and again, it was like before she had arrived. Like she had never come to Sunnydale High. She had pushed Angel away. She had pushed him too far. It was her fault.**

**All her fault.**

**She had still been telling herself this as cracks of sunlight had begun to creep into the darkness of her bedroom, hours later. She had thought it over and over and over this morning.**

**But now, seeing them together, and witnessing it first hand, she felt sick. Her strength crumbled into dust. A sudden image came into her head, an image of her from a couple of years ago, when everything had been normal…she was like a different person, so sure and confident. She felt pathetic. **

**Nervously looking back over her shoulder every couple of seconds, she stumbled down the road, until she turned a corner, and could no longer see any traces of the place from which she had just fled. She wondered whether they had noticed her fleeing; were they chuckling uneasily, pitying her? Had they been too lost in one another to even recognise that there was somebody present, watching them as they kissed? Were they still kissing?**

**Buffy brushed a strand of hair away from her clammy face with a trembling hand. She wanted to get as far away from the pair of them as soon as possible. Screw school. But she couldn't. She had been running away for too long now, from her past, from her problems. **

**Buffy knew she had to stay and face this here and now, or else she never would. There was no way she could stay home forever, or avoid Angel and Cordelia, as she shared a number of lessons with them. They were going to be there, in front of her eyes- but should she stay and bear it, or leave?**

**Shutting her eyes tightly, she clenched her shaking hand into a fist and made her decision.**

**xxxxxx**

**Cordelia was practically floating with happiness as she strutted down the corridors. The other students parted to reveal a clear pathway, watching in a mixture of fear and admiration. The bright smile, the glint in her eyes, the added boost of confidence in her already showy walk-this could only mean one thing.**

**The news spread like ripples in a pond, and soon everybody had heard the gossip about Cordelia and Angelus being back together, stronger than ever. The whispers spreading like fire around her through the masses made Cordelia feel even more sure of herself, even stronger. Somehow, knowing that everybody else knew about the relationship made it seem all the more real, all the more permanent. Cordelia wasn't going to be like Buffy- some simple sleazy little secret. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why Buffy hadn't blurted out the secret to as many people as possible- she was just thankful that she had kept her mouth shut. As long as she kept it shut, then Cordelia wouldn't have to have anything more to do with her.**

**And then, of course, neither would Angelus.**

**They had kissed for about five minutes altogether. As if to prove to herself it was really happening, Cordelia had wrapped her arms around his neck, so she could see her watch. She had timed the kiss. When they both pulled away, there had been a moment of disappointment, when his face had been frozen. She had hunted for emotions- was that guilt? Was that anger? She had waited impatiently for a reaction, the whole time her heart thudding just a little bit faster, a (completely fake) delicate smile plastered onto her face. Cordelia had become nervous. She widened her eyes, and tried to look unsure. She already knew he was into the whole meek, damsel in distress pathetic-o thing, after all.**

**When finally he responded, by pulling her into a hug, she had almost melted in relief, as she breathed in his scent. **

**Cordelia walked into her next class-sadly one she didn't share with Angelus. She was early; a few nerds chatting eagerly at the back of the room threw her a couple of alarmed looks as she slid into her seat, pulled out her science book and daydreamed. She remembered the brief conversation they had shared, where they had agreed to give it another go. That had been a quote from Angelus, not her. She wasn't "giving this a go." That sounded so….temporary. Angelus was hers now. And she couldn't be happier.**

**xxxxxx**

**Angel was in the school gym, lifting weights. Every few minutes, he increased the load. Acid burnt in his muscles, sweat poured down his face, and his back, but he recognised none of this, not even when the pain became excruciating. He wasn't concentrating fully; in the rare few seconds he did pay attention to what he was doing, the pain somehow made him feel a little…better.**

**Still, a little better was still shit. He had never felt worse than he did right now- not something you expect to hear from somebody who had just got back together with his ex- girlfriend.**

**But this wasn't a usual situation. This was all screwed up. **

**His head pounded with pain from his hangover, something that definitely wouldn't let him forget what had happened the night before. How could he forget when he and Cordelia were now dating?**

**The memories flooded past his eyes as he tried to figure out how all of this had even happened. One minute he was talking to Cordy, and she was baring her soul for him to see-which in itself was a bloody miracle. She had been baring everything else to him for ages, but she had never seemed that sincere to him, that honest. He hadn't been thinking clearly, but he had softened…he had never seen her like this, right here before him, where he could just reach out and touch her, and she would let him…she was letting him in, telling him her feelings, her secrets…then they were kissing, and the familiarity of it all, the feeling of being wanted, needed even, had soon cancelled out the brief feeling of hesitation he had experienced.**

**Then they had broken apart, and he had turned to his left, sure that he had seen something move, a strange feeling prickling the hairs on the back of his neck…then they had been talking, they had separated, and he had arrived very late to homeroom…and only then did he realise he had just agreed to once again date Cordelia Chase.**

**There was just one small problem.**

**Buffy.**

**Angel winced in pain as he lifted the weights even higher, thinking of her scared, embarrassed face practically begging him…he thought of her clothed body below his, her hands in his hair as they kissed…a million images for only a month or so spent together.**

**How could he tell her? She would hear it anyway, if he knew the school. It was nearly break, but he knew that the rumour would have spread to a substantial number of people by now. Maybe she hadn't heard yet? Maybe she was looking for him, innocent to what was going on around her. Did she think that they were still together? **

**The thought brought a new image to mind; an image of her face, hopeful and as beautiful as ever as she overheard his name, then the image crashed down as she realised.**

**Angels hands, damp with sweat slipped, and the weight on the machine crashed down to the floor with an incredible bang. He leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes as he realised too late that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. The pain was so intense it made his head hurt even more. He was in agony. He had been lifting weights a man twice his size might have struggled with. Angel was in so much pain he wanted to scream. He looked down at his bandaged hand, a regular memory of the event, a reminder of Buffy. He needed to talk to her. Now.**

**He made to get up, but the simple movement itself was too much. He collapsed back with a groan. His body was bellowing at him to stay right where he was, but he ignored it. He needed to talk to her, as soon as possible. **

**The bell for break rang. Angel closed his eyes and cursed. He had a free period next, as did Buffy. He needed to go and find her right now.**

**It took him several minutes to get up, and when he stood and walked, the pain was completely unbearable. He couldn't do anything like this. Gritting his teeth, he clenched his fists, his fingernails digging right into the flesh and cutting the skin. He hobbled along the corridors, walking delicately, to try and not provoke the raging pain from the weight lifting, from his injured hand, and from his throbbing head. The effort of staying composed was almost too much.**

**Finally, he made it to the nurses office, and one look at him should have told the timid nurse that **_**yes**_**, he was in pain and **_**yes**_**, it **_**did**_** hurt a lot, but she still felt the need to nervously ask him these questions. It took him everything not to snap at her, but he managed somehow to restrain himself. After the tedious questions were done with, she then proceeded to fumble around for his medical form. **

"**Can I just…sit down? Please?" He hissed. He didn't need to be here. He needed to be looking for Buffy, and this idiot was wasting his precious time. If Buffy hadn't heard, he needed to explain- if she had, then still, he needed to explain. Why couldn't she just dose him up quickly??**

**The nurse jumped at his strong tone.**

"**There's Room 1, that's free, I t-think." The words had barely left her lips before Angel set off for Room 1. He struggled with the door, and when he finally got into the room, he slammed it shut, and rested his head against the wood. His breathing was heavy now. He could faintly hear the nurse outside. **

**Turning to the bed, he made to go to it, and lie down. That was when he realised the nurse's mistake. Room 1 was, in fact, not empty- Angel was not alone. Somebody sat on the very bed/ gurney that he had hoped to lie on.**

**It was Buffy. She was curled up right in the very centre of the bed, leaning against the wall. The sleeves of her shirt were tugged down to her knuckles. **

_**The last time I saw her, I was unbuttoning her shirt**_**, Angel thought absently, and a sharp kick of pain in his stomach brought him back to reality, and more importantly, back to Buffy. **

**She was looking at him with a blank expression- he noticed immediately that whilst she was looking in his direction, she was focussing on a point that wasn't his eyes. He stepped forward, ignoring the pain, as he saw her shift uncomfortably. **

"**Hey." Angel softly. A forced, fake smile came onto her face, and in that second, Angel could tell that she knew all about him and Cordelia. He saw her eyes flicker to his face quickly, and from that it was clear to him that she knew he had learnt that she had discovered about his new relationship.**

"**How…how did you find out?" His voice was quiet, his mouth was dry as he struggled to get the words out. He fiddled with his hands, to try pointlessly to distract himself. "Did somebody tell you?"**

"**I already knew." Her voice was light, and easy. He knew that she would do this. The barriers he had worked so hard to get past had instantly shot back up again, stronger than ever.**

"**How?"**

"**I saw you this morning." She told him, still not making eye contact. He got the feeling she wasn't telling him the full story, but he stopped himself from asking her anything more. There was a silence.**

"**Why are you here?" She asked simply, and Angel found himself wishing that there was something other than casualness in her tone, even if it was accusation or she showed how furious she was with him. Anything, rather than this cold, collected demeanour, that he knew was her way of protecting herself around people that didn't understand. The fact that she was being so cool and normal towards him made him feel like crap.**

**He saw her eyes taking in his posture, the sweat on his brow. She didn't comment any further.**

"**I'm fine." He looked at her properly ,as if seeing her for the first time. " What about you? Are you okay?"**

**She gritted her teeth and smiled bitterly for a second, shaking her head.**

"**Don't do that. Don't you dare do that."**

"**What?"**

"**Don't act like you even give a damn."**

**It felt like a stab in the chest to see her trying to protect herself. **_**From him**_**. Just seeing her had replaced all of his old pain with a new stronger agony, that burned inside of him.**

"**I do care. Of course I care, Buffy, you know that." He stepped towards her. She raised a hand to halt him.**

"**No. We're ex now, remember?" Her voice was steady but she looked scared as he slowly continued to move forward. She pulled back her hand, tucking it into her lap and pulling her sleeves down even more. She stared determinedly at the floor beside her bed.**

**Angel was right next to her now, his shoe disturbing her view of the carpet. **

"**I wanted to tell you… it only happened this morning, I swear to you. I was about to come looking for you, to explain." He saw the single tear that snaked down Buffy's pale cheek and couldn't continue. Angel stepped even closer, and reached out a hand. Buffy flinched, and shifted, half facing away from him as he sat beside her, and rested his hand on the curve of her neck. Another tear flowed down her cheek, and another. Each tear was like a stab for Angel, knowing that this was his fault, this was what he had done to her. He could see half of her face, looking down, her eyes squeezed shut, her spiky eyelashes thick with mascara. Black trails lead down her face, as she cried silently.**

"**Please…please don't cry. "He said helplessly, and his voice was so broken and ragged that it made Buffy feel even worse. Angel leant closer, and buried his face in her hair. When he spoke, his words were muffled. "Sh,shh. Please."**

**He was pleading with her. Pleading with her to stop crying. A million words left unsaid as she tried to ignore him, looking down at her hands as the tears fell hot and fast. How could she ignore him? His hand was brushing against her neck, he was inches away, whispering into her hair. She suspected that he was crying, but she couldn't comfort him. She just wanted him to leave. She couldn't make him. She wouldn't.**

**A bang from outside of the office ended everything. It alarmed Buffy- she immediately stopped crying, wiping her face on the sleeve of her shirt, leaving smudges of mascara on her face and black blotches on the blue fabric. She coughed loudly, to clear her throat and break the silence. She didn't look around.**

**Angels hand fell from her neck, and he closed his eyes for a few minutes. Running his hands over her face, he brushed away his tears and tried to gain some composure. There was a silence that couldn't have been explained by words.**

**Standing slowly, Angel hobbled over to the chair at the other side of the room, and sank down into the padded cushion. He rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face.**

**He heard nothing from Buffy. There was so much he wanted to say but he couldn't. He wouldn't. This was like a nightmare. The pain told him that no, this was very real. How could even the strongest of nightmares create the pain he felt now, not only from his head and his aching joints?**

**There was a bang as the door swung open quickly, knocking over a coat rack. Angel didn't even bother to uncover his face, until he heard the nurse approach him. He looked up at her as she stood nervously before him.**

"**S-sorry I took so long. I had to c-check your medical form, to see if you were allowed painkillers, and t-then I had to write up the incident sheet, and then I had to decide what to give you…" She waved his forms frantically. Angel looked up at her blankly. **_**Get to the goddamn point**_**, He wanted to yell. She smiled faintly and held out a glass of water and a small plastic tub. Angel took the glass, and the tub. It contained 2 pills. Before the nurse could ramble on about side effects and excessive consumption, yada yada yada, he tipped the pills into his mouth and took a sip of water. He swallowed.**

**The nurse looked a little proud, like she had just saved him from the brink of death. She handed him his medical sheets, and walked over to Buffy.**

**Angel bit his lip and looked over at the blonde girl, curled up, her hair hiding her face. He heard the nurse gently ask her if she was okay. He strained to hear a reply, but there wasn't one. The nurse repeated her question. Buffy slowly shook her head.**

**Right there, at that very moment, Angel wished he was dead.**

**Before he knew what was happening, he was up and moving. The papers and the glass of water fell to the floor. He ignored them, even as the nurse rushed to save the soaked forms. He saw Buffy's head lift, heard the nurse speaking, but he left the room, out into the office lobby. He saw the pills in the bottle on the desk. In three strides, he was there. He pocketed them, and quickly left the office. He slammed the door behind him. He needed a drink.**

**xxxxx**

**_Tiny bit of angst, but you know what you have to do for cheerful stuff :) Thanks to everybody who is reviewing!_**


	16. Chapter 17

Getting time off school was relatively easy, considering the fact that Buffy had been told it was near to impossible. But despite the fact that she hadn't even been at the school for a full year yet, she had good solid grades (I.e., she wasn't flunking history badly enough yet for there to be real concern) and she hadn't skipped too many days so far…honestly, she had her own theory. She wasn't a cheerleader, or some super-jock, whose absence could cost Sunnydale High any sports awards, she wasn't uber-smart and a really valuable asset to the school, and finally, she wasn't a teenage-delinquent. Her absence wouldn't leave the school worrying about her tarnishing their "good" reputation if she stole a car, or sprayed graffiti all over the Mayor's office, or something.

She was insignificant. She was a tiny blip on the school's radar, a tiny fish amongst the huge shoals. What difference would it make if she took the last two weeks before half term off? Who would miss her?

That question played through her mind numerous times; each time, she ground her teeth together and told herself to stop being such a giant idiot. Willow and Xander, she told herself, Willow and Xander will miss me. My mom will miss me, when she gets back from her trip.

Then the last thought always managed to distract her; she felt kind of bad about leaving, and thinking about her mom finally coming home to an empty house made her feel like a bit of a bad daughter, but she had seemed fine with it on the phone, when Buffy had told her she was going to stay with her father in LA. Sure she had been a little concerned…but the worry had been more for her daughter than for her. She hadn't said anything, but Buffy could tell that she was a little bit wary thinking about her daughter going to LA.

Buffy would have been lying if she said that she wasn't concerned herself. She was more than concerned, she was terrified. In her head she had an image of her returning back to Sunnydale after the arranged three weeks, as a sodden tearful wreck. LA would be sure to bring everything back to her with a even more startling focus than the type her nightmares brought her. She had lived there for sixteen years; she had loved the place, and her social life had taken her to

practically every corner of the city- with Celia, of course. Every place would remind her…

And then there was her father. Hank Summers meant well, and she knew he wouldn't upset her deliberately, but she expected to be in tears at one point during her trip. Her dad…he tried to understand her, and often failed miserably. It was so much easier when her life was simple, and filled with all things shallow. She longed for nights without nightmares, for arms without scars, for her cousin back, alive and safe and well. Rewind back, to the night they took the car, rewind back to the time she should have objected to the plan of going to the party….Celia wouldn't have minded, she would have respected Buffy's wishes….she would have groaned once or twice, and made Buffy promise that they would go to the next party…the would have watched films, and slept and life would have carried on like normal. Life, not death. Parties, and visits to the cabin beside the lake, not dizzy rides to the hospital in an ambulance, not funerals and visits from the doctors. Sometimes Buffy could get lost in dreams of how her life could have been. They were intoxicating. In her dreams, she forgot her guilt, because she had no guilt. Celia was alive, Buffy's conscience was completely clear.

Reality was always so depressing.

So clearly there were many reasons for staying far away from LA. In her most rational moments, she knew she was making a slightly hasty decision. She had come home early from school two days ago and made up her mind. She consulted school and her mom, and of course her father, and they had all given her the wary go ahead. She had packed, she had emailed Willow and Xander with false cheeriness to let them know she was going to stay in LA- all of this had only taken a day. She wasn't set to leave for another two days after that, which meant she had time to kill, but she didn't go to school-why the hell would she?

She cleaned her room, she cleaned the kitchen, she did her half term break homework, packed, again and again. She stayed mostly in her mom's room for the simple reason that she was trying to avoid looking out of her window. Buffy hadn't seen Angel since the day in the nurse's office. Her face burned just thinking about it. She felt guilty knowing that he had been comforting her, crying himself, but she hadn't comforted him back. They had been inches away, and…for God's sake, she had cried! What was that, the second time she had cried in front of him? It was no big deal. Buffy used to wear her heart on her sleeve. Anything could set her off, from a sad movie, or just PMT. So he had seen her CRY. She didn't owe him anything, she hadn't asked him to comfort her… still, she couldn't help but wonder where he had gone when he had stormed out of the nurse's office. The nurse had mentioned that a bottle of painkillers from the side had gone missing, but the ditzy woman was too dumb to make the connection- angry guy, missing drugs, hello?

She was just worried. She didn't want him to KILL himself.

She had heard from him the evening she came home early. An email, quite short, basically just apologising for everything that had happened between them. He had expressed guilt, and had said sorry for what had happened earlier that day- _"I can't help but feel a little embarrassed by what happened in the nurse's office." _He had said, and he had signed off from the email with a goodbye- no _"Love from Angel, "_ but then again, she hadn't really expected him too.

It was just the tone of the email. Casual, calm, a little formal. It was the kind of email you would send to a distant friend, to apologise for something minimal, not the kind of email you would send to somebody you had kind of dated…intensely. Buffy hadn't expected him to be really heartfelt, and she understand why he might feel awkward over showing his emotions to her so blatantly, but she had expected a little…more. More than a quick apology, more than the _"It all worked out for the best, I guess"_ that had made her feel sick. He had condensed everything into about 8 short lines. A greeting, some junk in the middle, and a goodbye.

Whilst she understood what he must be feeling, she knew it wasn't like him. She could have replied to the email, but how personal can you get in an email anyway? What would she write? **"Hey, sorry about everything that happened. I mean, I'm one screwed up gal, because of this car crash I was in that left me scarred. I really wanted to have sex with you, but I'm a disfigured freak….and from what I heard, your knew girlfriend has no problem with the whole getting naked thing. I hear she's done it quite a few times, actually. Just wanted to let you know, hugs and kisses, Buffy. "**

Maybe not. But she couldn't get the idea out of her head of how coolly he had said goodbye.

That was the reason she gave herself, when she was looking outside of her window across to his house, about an hour before she had to set off for the station. He would be home from school any minute, or at least, he should be-

There. There he was, walking up the drive to his house. He looked fine, a little tired maybe. His shoulders were slightly tense but other than that, he was perfectly okay. Buffy had been worrying for nothing but now she had seen him, she could stop looking, and go and-

But she didn't stop looking. She held her breath until she saw life in his bedroom a few minutes after he entered the house. She saw his door open, she saw him walk to his computer. Buffy savoured these last few minutes. Angel was fine- she was leaving for over two weeks, maybe a month if it wasn't too bad.

She should email him, she should call him or go over and see him, just to let him know…to let him know what? That she still dreamt about him, about his hands on her skin, his mouth against hers? That she still dreamt about him, even now when she knew that he had moved on to Cordelia? How pathetic was she? Dreaming about an ex boyfriend would have made her laugh a year ago. _The whole point of ex, is that he is out of your mind_, she would have said.

A reply came into her head, but this time, it wasn't her voice. It was a confident, cheerful voice, and Buffy could hear a smile in it. She knew this voice, it was more than familiar, but she had never heard the voice speaking these words, as far as she could remember.

"_Look Buffy. Unless you're planning to settle down with this guy, and never date anyone again, then you need to move on, like he has. See? He's moved on. Kind of cancels out the whole settling down with him thing, huh?"_

Buffy stared out of her window, at the house across the road, with the guy whose name could give her butterflies in the depths of her stomach. She tried to imagine settling down with Angel. Settling down, of course, would mean telling everybody else about the relationship- Xander, Willow, her mom, Cordelia…as much as she disliked Cordelia- which was a lot at the moment- she couldn't blame her for how things had ended up. If anything, she should be blaming herself.

She had arrived in Sunnydale and took Cordelia's boyfriend. That naturally made her a bit guilty and also a little hypocritical. She had resented Cordelia for the lengths she had gone to get Angel back, but she would have done exactly the same last year. Then she had behaved pathetically and acted like Angel was going to practically rape her if she didn't have sex with him willingly- after thinking about it, this was the worst part. She had come to understand Angel, and the kind of person he was. Sure she had heard all the stories about how he could be a big jerk at times, but she could be a bitch when she wanted to. Nobody's perfect, especially not her.

She felt embarrassed when she remembered the incident in his room. Of course, it was too late to do anything about it now, but….had she been wrong? So she had some scars on her arm, so she had a past- so what? Everybody had a past, Angel probably had secrets that she didn't know, but she hadn't seen him acting like some stupid simpering damsel in distress. She should have told him. He was a good guy- he was a gentleman, he was funny, he was so hot…he was caring, he was protective, but not in a scarily obsessive way.

They would have made great friends before all of this stuff got in the way. Before Buffy was screwed up, they could have been friends. But not now. Whilst Buffy accepted that whole you-can't-be-friends-with-an-ex thing, she knew there were exceptions. You could be friends with an ex, if neither of you felt anything for one another and there was no awkward stuff.

There- there was the problem. From what she had seen over the last few days, Angel was moving on. His email had been cool- he hadn't called or visited either, and now that she had seen him, he didn't seem too heartbroken. He just seemed normal. And he was normal, he was a nice normal guy. She knew she shouldn't hate him for everything but it all seemed to come back to him.

Did she love him? She didn't know. Love was a big word. Love was something that she was too young to feel, right? This was hormones, stupid hormones. She was a teenager; she was meant to have crushes, and date, and split up with people…and then move on. Normal teenagers did that instead of getting hung up over some guy who had moved on because of her.

It was all so messed up it made her head ache. She watched Angel leaning back from his computer, stretching his arms.

Buffy wanted to be like those other teenage girls, the normal teenage girls, who could date and then move on. She couldn't spend the rest of her life waiting for the day when Angel would be available, the day she could trust him enough to tell him all about her, about a car crash that had changed her life, that had sliced up the picture of life, then stuck it all back together wrong.

Buffy sighed, and stepped back from the window, shutting the curtain. She looked around her room and walked over to her bed, pulling on a simple black jacket. She grabbed her large suitcase, and dragged it down the stairs. It thumped loudly on each step, until she reached the floor, and balanced it beside the wall. She quickly checked that all of the windows were shut securely, before locking the front door. Then, taking her suitcase, she pulled it along the floor carefully into the kitchen. When she reached the back door, she stepped outside, locking the door behind her, and setting off slowly for the station.

**Okey-dokey! Last chapter was kind of angst, and I couldn't just go from angst to rainbows and puppies. I promise that there will be some happiness in future chapters.**

**Sorry for leaving on a bit of a strange note and I apologise that this chapter is mostly just thoughts, but I wanted to sum up what Buffy was thinking before she went off…important events ahead!**

**Please review for more, and if you liked/hated it, or you have any ideas what could happen next. My writing is very hot-off-the-press, if you see what I mean- anything can happen! Yours might be the idea that inspires me!**

**Might be a bit delayed with updating, but I'll do my best!**

**Sorry in advance for any spelling errors!**


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